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yamamanamaOn good music: Heh, Meghan McCain loves Ping Pong as well. Someone said she's either utterly clueless or secretly wants to overthrow capitalist society. I want to say the latter but it's more likely the former.
~
On terrible music: Caroline Glick (founder of crappy musicians for a kindler, gentler genocide) has a new parody song, this time of "we didn't start the fire." It's, of course, terrible, like, worse than the song they had on that Simpsons clip show, which has been lost to the depths of the syndication vault, which may not be opened until October 44 of the 8th phase of Spring. This is why I will one day conquer Israel with pumpkins. Mu-wahahahahaha.
More on terrible music: Some asshole from New Hampshite wrote a song called Wake Up And Smell The Tea. They can't all be as awesome as we are. We have Pixies, Sebadoh, Swirlies, Charlene (the shoegaze band, not the singer who's never been to me), the Drop Nineteens, Splashdown, Universal Hall Pass, Birdsongs of the Mesozoic, Mission of Burma, Kayo Dot, maudlin of the Well, Cave In, Dinosaur Jr, Letters to Cleo, the Magnetic Fields, Galaxie 500, 1700 Miles, Caspian, Henry Gale, and so on.
Here are the lyrics, in faux-southern glory.
Wake up and smell the tea
We're gonna have a party
We're not gonna let our country go to hell
Wake up and smell the tea
It's gonna be a party
If you don't agree with me
You better wake up and smell the tea!
People all across this land are ticked off as can be
We break our backs just payin taxes
cuz Uncle Sam is greedy
Top it off with borrowed money from overseas
They're handin it out to thugs
Who broke in here illegally
But there's a change brewing
you can smell it in the air
that ain't no coffee pardner.
Wake up and smell the tea
We're gonna have a party
We're not gonna let our country go to hell
Wake up and smell the tea
It's gonna be a party
If you don't agree with me
You better wake up and smell the tea!
Can you write a check when you don't have the money
NO!
I didn't think so!
The shape this country's in, ain't it funny?
NO!
I didn't think so!
I don't give a damn what side you're on
But right is right and wrong is wrong.
Wake up and smell the tea
We're gonna have a party
We're not gonna let our country go to hell
Wake up and smell the tea
It's gonna be a party
If you don't agree with me
You better wake up and smell the tea!
???
Can't you just smell that tea brewin
I sure can
Remember 1773, don't you? Look it up.
Um, it lives up to my expectations, at least. And at least it doesn't try to rhyme or go for the obvious left is wrong. It's laughably bad, but it's catchy as all hell. Need Stereolab. Though this world's essentially an absurd place to be living in, it doesn't call for bubble withdrawal. La resistance! La resistance!
Crazy Novel Time: China, India, the Islamic world (which is apparently just Iran, Pakistan, and Afghanistan - judging by the red on the map, notable omissions include Malaysia, Indonesia, Bangladesh, Central Asia* and the entire Arab world - but it includes Bhutan, Nepal, and Mongolia to make up for it) make an unholy alliance and wage war on the US. And the US wins the war by outlawing abortion, because, um, babies with knives in their mouths** beat pumpkins. I bet they're planning to conquer the world with pumpkins too.
*Maybe they still don't have democratically elected governments because the US wants their puppets there, much like the House of Saud.
**I'm creeped out now. I'm imagining the Ayn Rand School For Tots, except instead of sucking on pacifiers, they're sucking on the hilts of knives. *shudder* so many babies. Ok, I'm probably supposed to be thinking that there's a lot more people in the new generation, but none of the summaries I've read (on Amazon, mind ye, and we all know Amazon is not exactly the greatest place to read reviews of things) even suggest that this war lasts more than one generation. They take over the entire Old World and some of Alaska, and then get pushed back. The Mexicans are involved, on the forces of evil, of course. It's like a Dan Simmons thriller in that regard, except with war technology masturbation instead of literary masturbation***.
***I listened to a podcast, and Luke Burrage pointed out that nowhere in Hyperion is it mentioned that a shrike is a bird that impales its prey on thorns. That's the difference between cleverness and wankery.
On movies that may or may not ever exist: There was going to be a movie called All You Need Is Kill, which sounds a bit like a James Bond title that was algorithm translated from English to Turkish to Lithuanian and then back to English, but actually involves aliens and stable time loops. This could either be really good or really terrible, but when aliens are involved, terrible things are also good. Alive Alone sounds interesting, but it's no Titus Alone. And Fucking Jane Austen is no Fucking Austria. Maybe there should be a movie about a guy who fakes a terror plot on Fucking, Austria so the village would go on the news, and the resulting firestorm with pissed off media watchdog groups. It would end with Focus on the Family buying a nuke from the Russian Mafia and attempting to use it on Fucking. They would all talk with stereotypical mafioso accents. Also, there will be a subplot involving pumpkins.
There's hope for All You Need Is Kill. The Beaver (where they probably just hid cameras around Mel Gibson's hometown and CGIed in a beaver puppet) was on the blacklist a few years ago, I remember.
On Arabic cuisine: It's awesome.
On street musicians: There was a different guy at Park Street. He sang in English. There was also a guy playing the accordion (but there wasn't a juggling monkey, alas) at the green line stop at Park Street, but the train arrived just as I got there.
Overheard: If there's a boot on my car, I'm going to cry.
It would be more badass if she took a jackhammer, and drove away in the wreckage of her car after remarking "Adeline: Ten. Boot: Eight."
*I'm just assuming that's her name. It might be Fiona or Rose. Or even Venetia.
Guess what Adeline, Fiona, Rose, and Venetia have in common other than being girls' names, and I'll give you a cookie.
Burning question: what is the difference between a Central Asian autocrat and a Wall Street banker?
~
On terrible music: Caroline Glick (founder of crappy musicians for a kindler, gentler genocide) has a new parody song, this time of "we didn't start the fire." It's, of course, terrible, like, worse than the song they had on that Simpsons clip show, which has been lost to the depths of the syndication vault, which may not be opened until October 44 of the 8th phase of Spring. This is why I will one day conquer Israel with pumpkins. Mu-wahahahahaha.
More on terrible music: Some asshole from New Hampshite wrote a song called Wake Up And Smell The Tea. They can't all be as awesome as we are. We have Pixies, Sebadoh, Swirlies, Charlene (the shoegaze band, not the singer who's never been to me), the Drop Nineteens, Splashdown, Universal Hall Pass, Birdsongs of the Mesozoic, Mission of Burma, Kayo Dot, maudlin of the Well, Cave In, Dinosaur Jr, Letters to Cleo, the Magnetic Fields, Galaxie 500, 1700 Miles, Caspian, Henry Gale, and so on.
Here are the lyrics, in faux-southern glory.
Wake up and smell the tea
We're gonna have a party
We're not gonna let our country go to hell
Wake up and smell the tea
It's gonna be a party
If you don't agree with me
You better wake up and smell the tea!
People all across this land are ticked off as can be
We break our backs just payin taxes
cuz Uncle Sam is greedy
Top it off with borrowed money from overseas
They're handin it out to thugs
Who broke in here illegally
But there's a change brewing
you can smell it in the air
that ain't no coffee pardner.
Wake up and smell the tea
We're gonna have a party
We're not gonna let our country go to hell
Wake up and smell the tea
It's gonna be a party
If you don't agree with me
You better wake up and smell the tea!
Can you write a check when you don't have the money
NO!
I didn't think so!
The shape this country's in, ain't it funny?
NO!
I didn't think so!
I don't give a damn what side you're on
But right is right and wrong is wrong.
Wake up and smell the tea
We're gonna have a party
We're not gonna let our country go to hell
Wake up and smell the tea
It's gonna be a party
If you don't agree with me
You better wake up and smell the tea!
???
Can't you just smell that tea brewin
I sure can
Remember 1773, don't you? Look it up.
Um, it lives up to my expectations, at least. And at least it doesn't try to rhyme or go for the obvious left is wrong. It's laughably bad, but it's catchy as all hell. Need Stereolab. Though this world's essentially an absurd place to be living in, it doesn't call for bubble withdrawal. La resistance! La resistance!
Crazy Novel Time: China, India, the Islamic world (which is apparently just Iran, Pakistan, and Afghanistan - judging by the red on the map, notable omissions include Malaysia, Indonesia, Bangladesh, Central Asia* and the entire Arab world - but it includes Bhutan, Nepal, and Mongolia to make up for it) make an unholy alliance and wage war on the US. And the US wins the war by outlawing abortion, because, um, babies with knives in their mouths** beat pumpkins. I bet they're planning to conquer the world with pumpkins too.
*Maybe they still don't have democratically elected governments because the US wants their puppets there, much like the House of Saud.
**I'm creeped out now. I'm imagining the Ayn Rand School For Tots, except instead of sucking on pacifiers, they're sucking on the hilts of knives. *shudder* so many babies. Ok, I'm probably supposed to be thinking that there's a lot more people in the new generation, but none of the summaries I've read (on Amazon, mind ye, and we all know Amazon is not exactly the greatest place to read reviews of things) even suggest that this war lasts more than one generation. They take over the entire Old World and some of Alaska, and then get pushed back. The Mexicans are involved, on the forces of evil, of course. It's like a Dan Simmons thriller in that regard, except with war technology masturbation instead of literary masturbation***.
***I listened to a podcast, and Luke Burrage pointed out that nowhere in Hyperion is it mentioned that a shrike is a bird that impales its prey on thorns. That's the difference between cleverness and wankery.
On movies that may or may not ever exist: There was going to be a movie called All You Need Is Kill, which sounds a bit like a James Bond title that was algorithm translated from English to Turkish to Lithuanian and then back to English, but actually involves aliens and stable time loops. This could either be really good or really terrible, but when aliens are involved, terrible things are also good. Alive Alone sounds interesting, but it's no Titus Alone. And Fucking Jane Austen is no Fucking Austria. Maybe there should be a movie about a guy who fakes a terror plot on Fucking, Austria so the village would go on the news, and the resulting firestorm with pissed off media watchdog groups. It would end with Focus on the Family buying a nuke from the Russian Mafia and attempting to use it on Fucking. They would all talk with stereotypical mafioso accents. Also, there will be a subplot involving pumpkins.
There's hope for All You Need Is Kill. The Beaver (where they probably just hid cameras around Mel Gibson's hometown and CGIed in a beaver puppet) was on the blacklist a few years ago, I remember.
On Arabic cuisine: It's awesome.
On street musicians: There was a different guy at Park Street. He sang in English. There was also a guy playing the accordion (but there wasn't a juggling monkey, alas) at the green line stop at Park Street, but the train arrived just as I got there.
Overheard: If there's a boot on my car, I'm going to cry.
It would be more badass if she took a jackhammer, and drove away in the wreckage of her car after remarking "Adeline: Ten. Boot: Eight."
*I'm just assuming that's her name. It might be Fiona or Rose. Or even Venetia.
Guess what Adeline, Fiona, Rose, and Venetia have in common other than being girls' names, and I'll give you a cookie.
Burning question: what is the difference between a Central Asian autocrat and a Wall Street banker?
