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shoot the moon
Feb. 23rd, 2018 06:31 pm24 days until the Vernal Equinox
It was an unseasonably nice day, even by May standards, it would be a nice day, so we sat outside and had lunch. Emily has cheese doodles but she wanted cheetos, while Caroline had vegetables and sausages, and Zac was eating beef jerky with a thing of silica gel and he dropped it in Emily's bag of cheese doodles and she was like "Are you trying to poison me?" and said "I'm pretty sure Donald Trump eats silica gel."
Michael brought out one of the metal spoons and Emily was like "That's our one and only spoon" and Jen said "she holds them near and dear to her heart" and she says we should get a grant for another picnic table, and Emily said she invited all the geese.
We released a few geese and swans in my absence and I asked if she meant release or going to the great medward in the sky and Emily said that medward would be the other direction, and TJ says paradise for geese would be a baseball field, while the medward would be purgatory.
Taylor is 6'2". For this reason and a few others, I always want to call her Hannah. Emily said that Marco thought her family were her friends because she's the shortest one despite being the oldest, and her brother is almost 7 feet tall.
Bella went diving in a canal somewhere so her hair reeked of "oil and dead ocean" according to Christine and she said "I'm pretty sure it's flammable."
Christine says "Goats dream only of murder. But we all dream of apples."
They determined that the moral of the Rainbow Fish is that you should give people your skin.
They were convinced that the Phil in Punxsutawney Phil is short for Philadelphia. Christine's angry that it's not even the same groundhog, they just get a new one every few years. And they should have a bunch of dogs run around and if some see their shadow and some don't, they can just use an average.
Christine said that she would have all instruments that end in -in banned, and banjos would have two strings instead of four, and kazoos would be the only instruments you blow into that are allowed. Emily says that clarinets and pianos should be allowed. TJ said that them only harmonica that should be allowed is the chromatic harmonica, which can play all the notes on the standard 12-tone scale. She said she'd abolish fruits and vegetables until the debate on what is and isn't a fruit is settled.
Christine asked if we could mine a precious metal, what would it be, and don't say gold. Emily thought of something that started with R and I thought of rubidium, which is an alkali metal and therefore reacts very violently with water. She said "I almost said rhubarb."
Christine asked us to name historical figures and Emily picked Gavrilo Princip, who has a cool name.
My favorite assassin is Jan Kubiš, who killed the architect of the Holocaust.
There's a graphic novel about a Jewish boxer and Emily asked if he punched Hitler, and that if he did, Hitler deserved it. Apparently he didn't, as he died in 1836.
I said you can't say MENDOZAAAAAAAAA without screaming it but when they say a name a lot, it's kind of hard.
According to Christine, in the Revenant, the bear is the hero because he stopped westward expansion.
One of them said about some movie is that the last thing they'd do is let a guy in prison have a hook for a hand.
TJ told stories about people eating Agent Orange as a hazing ritual and ending up with cancer later in life.
Christine asked how everyone wanted to be assassinated and TJ said that he'd be assassinated by a world-breaking long distance shot and Christine wants to be pushed off of a cliff by a guy riding a bicycle, or better yet, a unicycle.
If Christine had to assassinate someone, she'd assassinate the moon, because it's big and is full of itself despite being a big rock and we don't really need tides or anything. I think that might be a bad idea because it would be just like Majora's Mask (speaking of Zelda, Michael first played Ocarina of Time by renting it from Blockbuster and got as far as the Forest Temple that way. And also speaking of Ocarina of Time, it took me an embarrassingly long time to get to Dodongo's Cavern and the Fire Temple and an embarrassingly long time to beat the Spirit Temple. But on the other hand, I got through Great Bay Temple in one cycle without a guide and I'm really quite proud of that fact).
TJ brought up a site where you can make your own solar systems and create two suns and have them orbit around each other swifty, and stick a planet between them and watch it fly off into the interstellar void.
So Christine wants to move the sun leftward by half an inch, and use that to fly us to Mars, although the gas giants might get jealous. It's all very mad scientific and you wouldn't understand. She says that she sent her plan to NASA and they rejected it. They didn't understand. I don't even think she understands her plan.
TJ would assassinate John Travolta if he had to assassinate someone. I'd assassinate Bashar al Assad, and I'm going to be put on the No Fly List for saying this, I think that the world would be a safer, more democratic, and better place if al-Qaeda blew up the 16th Summit of the Non-Aligned Movement. Or really any summit of the Non-Aligned Movement. It's a who's who of dictators and authoritarian quasi-republics.
Not completely safe and more democratic, and perfect, as Equatorial Guinea's dictator for life didn't show up. Just better.
She asked what monster you'd date. She picked chupacabra so you aren't allowed to. In Chupacabra lore, there is only one. I guess it depends on if amphisbaenas from Symphony of the Night are intelligent.
Emily used "Lasagna!" as an expletive.
Christine acted shocked about Garfield's assassination. He was shot on a Saturday and died eleven weeks later on a Monday because the doctors thought that the best course of action was to remove the bullet.
Czolgosz wanted to bring about social upheaval, Booth wanted revenge for the Confederacy, and Hinkley wanted to impress Jodie Foster. On Monday, I'm going to have them listen to Assassins.
Christine only then realized that Emily was wearing clogs that had the same pattern as her chicken rain boots, and then said she was at the treehouse when she pointed that out and Emily said she was at the treehouse too. Christine was disappointed that the treehouse had a padlock and stairs.
They're for warm weather, but she was wearing two layers of socks anyway.
Christine was sitting on a stump because she feels weird about sitting on a bench that was there in memoriam of something and wants to build memorials to herself while she's still alive so people remember her. I think they'd remember anyone who ASSASSINATED THE FUCKING MOON.
I missed part of the conversation because I was carrying some cages and dishes inside. When I got back, Emily said something about mixing it up a little because everyone knows it as Bosnia but it's Bosnia i Herzegovina, and it's not just Bosnia i Herzegovina, it's Bosnia i Herzegovina i Republika Srpska i Brčko i Goražde, and there's Sandžak, which, and Christine may violently disagree on this because it has three moons and the sky is green, has the coolest flag of all the constituent parts of the Former Yugoslavia.
I think the worst flag of all time belonged to Rwanda. Libya went from one of the worst flags of all time to one of the best flags of all time.
She visited Banja Luka and then some village that she can't remember the name of. It was back when she had braces. That means it was a while ago. You'll have to take my word for that. And she doesn't remember the monument to the cans of mystery meat or even if she visited Sarajevo.
She had a branch that she used as a broom and swept up some of the white pine needles under the bench.
I had Piano Man stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Someone was listening to it and that someone probably wasn't Christine.
Despite it being Wednesday, I was able to share these thoughts with Michael and therefore with you. If I look up old lesser-known books, I get sites claiming to have a pirated edition. Ticketmaster comes up for The Alienist Outfit despite the band being defunct for at least a decade. There's an entire economy built around getting people to fill out surveys. Wally Was His Name even admitted to it being a scam in an interview that has long since passed into the aether.
I looked up the band Big Monster Fish Hook and one of the results was porn. At least, I think it was porn.
It's not the problem with post-industrial capitalism, it's a problem. A glaring problem, yes. Bitcoin is too. Someone said that we gave a bunch of computer programmers far too much money and they gave us a buggy panopticon, Pascal's wager, and Platonist economics. Someone else said that neither the word for the specific kind of tree nor the powdery remnant of something burnt translate into Japanese as "satoshi."
I know I've said on those cliche "invite any historical figures to dinner" questions, I'd invite political and military figures I don't like and poison them, but you could really make a case for bringing Karl Marx, Bertolt Brecht, and Douglas Adams back from the dead and seeing what they'd have to say about the first 18 years of the 21st century.
burning question: what about pornography in which they perform lewd acts with guns? Is that ok with Florida?
It was an unseasonably nice day, even by May standards, it would be a nice day, so we sat outside and had lunch. Emily has cheese doodles but she wanted cheetos, while Caroline had vegetables and sausages, and Zac was eating beef jerky with a thing of silica gel and he dropped it in Emily's bag of cheese doodles and she was like "Are you trying to poison me?" and said "I'm pretty sure Donald Trump eats silica gel."
Michael brought out one of the metal spoons and Emily was like "That's our one and only spoon" and Jen said "she holds them near and dear to her heart" and she says we should get a grant for another picnic table, and Emily said she invited all the geese.
We released a few geese and swans in my absence and I asked if she meant release or going to the great medward in the sky and Emily said that medward would be the other direction, and TJ says paradise for geese would be a baseball field, while the medward would be purgatory.
Taylor is 6'2". For this reason and a few others, I always want to call her Hannah. Emily said that Marco thought her family were her friends because she's the shortest one despite being the oldest, and her brother is almost 7 feet tall.
Bella went diving in a canal somewhere so her hair reeked of "oil and dead ocean" according to Christine and she said "I'm pretty sure it's flammable."
Christine says "Goats dream only of murder. But we all dream of apples."
They determined that the moral of the Rainbow Fish is that you should give people your skin.
They were convinced that the Phil in Punxsutawney Phil is short for Philadelphia. Christine's angry that it's not even the same groundhog, they just get a new one every few years. And they should have a bunch of dogs run around and if some see their shadow and some don't, they can just use an average.
Christine said that she would have all instruments that end in -in banned, and banjos would have two strings instead of four, and kazoos would be the only instruments you blow into that are allowed. Emily says that clarinets and pianos should be allowed. TJ said that them only harmonica that should be allowed is the chromatic harmonica, which can play all the notes on the standard 12-tone scale. She said she'd abolish fruits and vegetables until the debate on what is and isn't a fruit is settled.
Christine asked if we could mine a precious metal, what would it be, and don't say gold. Emily thought of something that started with R and I thought of rubidium, which is an alkali metal and therefore reacts very violently with water. She said "I almost said rhubarb."
Christine asked us to name historical figures and Emily picked Gavrilo Princip, who has a cool name.
My favorite assassin is Jan Kubiš, who killed the architect of the Holocaust.
There's a graphic novel about a Jewish boxer and Emily asked if he punched Hitler, and that if he did, Hitler deserved it. Apparently he didn't, as he died in 1836.
I said you can't say MENDOZAAAAAAAAA without screaming it but when they say a name a lot, it's kind of hard.
According to Christine, in the Revenant, the bear is the hero because he stopped westward expansion.
One of them said about some movie is that the last thing they'd do is let a guy in prison have a hook for a hand.
TJ told stories about people eating Agent Orange as a hazing ritual and ending up with cancer later in life.
Christine asked how everyone wanted to be assassinated and TJ said that he'd be assassinated by a world-breaking long distance shot and Christine wants to be pushed off of a cliff by a guy riding a bicycle, or better yet, a unicycle.
If Christine had to assassinate someone, she'd assassinate the moon, because it's big and is full of itself despite being a big rock and we don't really need tides or anything. I think that might be a bad idea because it would be just like Majora's Mask (speaking of Zelda, Michael first played Ocarina of Time by renting it from Blockbuster and got as far as the Forest Temple that way. And also speaking of Ocarina of Time, it took me an embarrassingly long time to get to Dodongo's Cavern and the Fire Temple and an embarrassingly long time to beat the Spirit Temple. But on the other hand, I got through Great Bay Temple in one cycle without a guide and I'm really quite proud of that fact).
TJ brought up a site where you can make your own solar systems and create two suns and have them orbit around each other swifty, and stick a planet between them and watch it fly off into the interstellar void.
So Christine wants to move the sun leftward by half an inch, and use that to fly us to Mars, although the gas giants might get jealous. It's all very mad scientific and you wouldn't understand. She says that she sent her plan to NASA and they rejected it. They didn't understand. I don't even think she understands her plan.
TJ would assassinate John Travolta if he had to assassinate someone. I'd assassinate Bashar al Assad, and I'm going to be put on the No Fly List for saying this, I think that the world would be a safer, more democratic, and better place if al-Qaeda blew up the 16th Summit of the Non-Aligned Movement. Or really any summit of the Non-Aligned Movement. It's a who's who of dictators and authoritarian quasi-republics.
Not completely safe and more democratic, and perfect, as Equatorial Guinea's dictator for life didn't show up. Just better.
She asked what monster you'd date. She picked chupacabra so you aren't allowed to. In Chupacabra lore, there is only one. I guess it depends on if amphisbaenas from Symphony of the Night are intelligent.
Emily used "Lasagna!" as an expletive.
Christine acted shocked about Garfield's assassination. He was shot on a Saturday and died eleven weeks later on a Monday because the doctors thought that the best course of action was to remove the bullet.
Czolgosz wanted to bring about social upheaval, Booth wanted revenge for the Confederacy, and Hinkley wanted to impress Jodie Foster. On Monday, I'm going to have them listen to Assassins.
Christine only then realized that Emily was wearing clogs that had the same pattern as her chicken rain boots, and then said she was at the treehouse when she pointed that out and Emily said she was at the treehouse too. Christine was disappointed that the treehouse had a padlock and stairs.
They're for warm weather, but she was wearing two layers of socks anyway.
Christine was sitting on a stump because she feels weird about sitting on a bench that was there in memoriam of something and wants to build memorials to herself while she's still alive so people remember her. I think they'd remember anyone who ASSASSINATED THE FUCKING MOON.
I missed part of the conversation because I was carrying some cages and dishes inside. When I got back, Emily said something about mixing it up a little because everyone knows it as Bosnia but it's Bosnia i Herzegovina, and it's not just Bosnia i Herzegovina, it's Bosnia i Herzegovina i Republika Srpska i Brčko i Goražde, and there's Sandžak, which, and Christine may violently disagree on this because it has three moons and the sky is green, has the coolest flag of all the constituent parts of the Former Yugoslavia.
I think the worst flag of all time belonged to Rwanda. Libya went from one of the worst flags of all time to one of the best flags of all time.
She visited Banja Luka and then some village that she can't remember the name of. It was back when she had braces. That means it was a while ago. You'll have to take my word for that. And she doesn't remember the monument to the cans of mystery meat or even if she visited Sarajevo.
She had a branch that she used as a broom and swept up some of the white pine needles under the bench.
I had Piano Man stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Someone was listening to it and that someone probably wasn't Christine.
Despite it being Wednesday, I was able to share these thoughts with Michael and therefore with you. If I look up old lesser-known books, I get sites claiming to have a pirated edition. Ticketmaster comes up for The Alienist Outfit despite the band being defunct for at least a decade. There's an entire economy built around getting people to fill out surveys. Wally Was His Name even admitted to it being a scam in an interview that has long since passed into the aether.
I looked up the band Big Monster Fish Hook and one of the results was porn. At least, I think it was porn.
It's not the problem with post-industrial capitalism, it's a problem. A glaring problem, yes. Bitcoin is too. Someone said that we gave a bunch of computer programmers far too much money and they gave us a buggy panopticon, Pascal's wager, and Platonist economics. Someone else said that neither the word for the specific kind of tree nor the powdery remnant of something burnt translate into Japanese as "satoshi."
I know I've said on those cliche "invite any historical figures to dinner" questions, I'd invite political and military figures I don't like and poison them, but you could really make a case for bringing Karl Marx, Bertolt Brecht, and Douglas Adams back from the dead and seeing what they'd have to say about the first 18 years of the 21st century.
burning question: what about pornography in which they perform lewd acts with guns? Is that ok with Florida?
