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Phil and Al's friend who may or may not have a name that people can say but I don't know it was reading Zippy the Pinhead. Here's what was going on in said comic: Sonny Bono's spirit is trapped in an Elmer Fudd statue. Yeah, that's a joke. It isn't just the result of some guy on way too much caffeine and magic mushrooms coming up with something at one AM.

Phil wonders if the guy with the moon for a head was named Captain Crescent, and wore a cape with stars o it. Sorry, no. All he did was make the tides.

http://www.misterkitty.org/extras/stupidcovers/stupidcomics6.html

Phil brought up Castlevania II. I blame bad translation, and he said it could be translated in ebonics.

I had house music on my computer and I had no idea why I had it and who's responsible for me having it.

People who measure their own success on the successes and failings of others are a consequence of the Law of Conservation of Happiness. See the below burning question.

Burning Question: Do all romantic relationships obey the Law of Conservation of Happiness? Why or why not? Like all burning questions, answer truthfully or not at all.

Burning Question 2: Starling Carlton was executed in 1859 by the state of South Carolina for aiding an escaped slave. Since there's a proper answer to whether or not this was just (the answer is: it's not. Kids, if you see anyone who thinks otherwise, treat them exactly the same way you treat people who write lilly instead of lily), I'll ask this instead: Does this remind you of anything?

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