love and sex among the chordates
Feb. 5th, 2013 08:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yamamanamaalternate title: the tale of the accursed coffeepot
because Nina says it always makes bad coffee and I said it would make a good Are You Afraid of the Dark episode and we reminisced about how awesome 90s Nickelodeon was and she sang Hey Sandy and the AYAOTD theme music.
Valley thought she was a lap tortoise and she wanted Bling (I think he weighs about 25 kg - I had a hard time moving him once so I sprinkled a trail of dandelion leaves) to walk on her back and massage her.
I found this halloween mask in the room where we keep our coats and stuff. Since there weren't any owls or terns or anything, I didn't have my camera with me. Christina said I should wear it but no, I'd bonk (she really likes the word bonk) into things. I couldn't see out of the thing. It would be fun to burst into necropsy wearing it.
Nina asked what they used to behead (dead) animals to test for rabies. Nothing special, just a bonesaw. No hatchet or guillotine.
so we have a thing we can attach to the animal's foot to monitor their pulse, and it beeps. I thought it sounded like Dust Man or Chopsticks or something as rendered by MS-DOS. Nina thought it sounded like Pac Man and that Christina should march around the Wildlife Center.
The first surgery she watched was an ovario-hysterectomy* which is so much more messy and intrusive than the elegant orchidectomy**. Especially when the rabbit is kind of overweight. It took about two hours. TV doesn't prepare you for surgery, the peristalsis the chemical aroma of antiseptic and the aroma of burning flesh from the cautery pen.
*hystera means uterus in Greek. It's also where the word "hysteria" comes from. Yeah, the ancient Greeks really didn't like women very much.
**orchid means testicles. Yes, like the flower***. Yes, somebody had a dirty mind.
***there's also a flower called a clitoria.
Christina described it as voices echoing in her head and her vision going all white and feeling like she needed to drink something and being pale. I fainted once in high school. I didn't have an online journal back then but I did have an Appleworks one. I remember telling you about The Affirmation by Christopher Priest and how I did the same thing, where I changed peoples' names and place names and even the nature of the world we live in. So, I describe my fainting incident like this:
dreamlike, with yellow and black motes dancing in the spaces between my cornea and the world, obscuring my vision and it all fell away from me and
everything went black and something without substance struck me with the weight of the world.
and I woke up on the floor trying to recall what happened and thinking about what happened earlier in the day and trying to piece things together.
Urinary bladders are yellow and translucent and have red blood vessels running across the surface. Nina thought it was pretty, wanted a red tree tattooed on her internal organs. I think there was a novel about this.
A digression: so, this guy removed a bb from his skull because he was playing William Tell with a drunk guy.
Schizophrenia and Parkinson's Disease are inverted, so people who get treated for schizophrenia complain of tremors and people who are treated for Parkinson's hear voices and write things like Titus Alone.
there's apparently some kind of delusions when you think you're dead and go catatonic. There's one that makes you think you're dead but I can't find anything else about it. There's a related disorder in which you think that everybody around you has been replaced with exact replicas, because you can tell who a person is but it won't elicit any sort of emotional response.
Rabbits only ovulate when they're copulating or at least going through the motions like those parthenogenetic lizards. So do cats and I think ferrets. And it's apparently painful. They have barbs on their genitals because the trauma is what induces ovulation in the female.
Male ducks have corkscrew penises and female ducks have corkscrew cloacae so they don't have to accept a male's sperm. It's an arms race, apparently.
Rats block the fallopian tubes so only their sperm get in.
Hyenas have enlarged clitorises and nobody knows why. It leads to high mortality rate.
Opossum penises are pronged.
And at the end of the surgery, I realized my shirt was on backwards.
Burning question: is Pac Man a chordate or not?
I mean, they do have sex differentiation or they at least have gender identity forced on them like Katharine from Celestis. You have my applause if you got that reference. I mean, Mega Man isn't biologically male, he's a robot.
because Nina says it always makes bad coffee and I said it would make a good Are You Afraid of the Dark episode and we reminisced about how awesome 90s Nickelodeon was and she sang Hey Sandy and the AYAOTD theme music.
Valley thought she was a lap tortoise and she wanted Bling (I think he weighs about 25 kg - I had a hard time moving him once so I sprinkled a trail of dandelion leaves) to walk on her back and massage her.
I found this halloween mask in the room where we keep our coats and stuff. Since there weren't any owls or terns or anything, I didn't have my camera with me. Christina said I should wear it but no, I'd bonk (she really likes the word bonk) into things. I couldn't see out of the thing. It would be fun to burst into necropsy wearing it.
Nina asked what they used to behead (dead) animals to test for rabies. Nothing special, just a bonesaw. No hatchet or guillotine.
so we have a thing we can attach to the animal's foot to monitor their pulse, and it beeps. I thought it sounded like Dust Man or Chopsticks or something as rendered by MS-DOS. Nina thought it sounded like Pac Man and that Christina should march around the Wildlife Center.
The first surgery she watched was an ovario-hysterectomy* which is so much more messy and intrusive than the elegant orchidectomy**. Especially when the rabbit is kind of overweight. It took about two hours. TV doesn't prepare you for surgery, the peristalsis the chemical aroma of antiseptic and the aroma of burning flesh from the cautery pen.
*hystera means uterus in Greek. It's also where the word "hysteria" comes from. Yeah, the ancient Greeks really didn't like women very much.
**orchid means testicles. Yes, like the flower***. Yes, somebody had a dirty mind.
***there's also a flower called a clitoria.
Christina described it as voices echoing in her head and her vision going all white and feeling like she needed to drink something and being pale. I fainted once in high school. I didn't have an online journal back then but I did have an Appleworks one. I remember telling you about The Affirmation by Christopher Priest and how I did the same thing, where I changed peoples' names and place names and even the nature of the world we live in. So, I describe my fainting incident like this:
dreamlike, with yellow and black motes dancing in the spaces between my cornea and the world, obscuring my vision and it all fell away from me and
everything went black and something without substance struck me with the weight of the world.
and I woke up on the floor trying to recall what happened and thinking about what happened earlier in the day and trying to piece things together.
Urinary bladders are yellow and translucent and have red blood vessels running across the surface. Nina thought it was pretty, wanted a red tree tattooed on her internal organs. I think there was a novel about this.
A digression: so, this guy removed a bb from his skull because he was playing William Tell with a drunk guy.
Schizophrenia and Parkinson's Disease are inverted, so people who get treated for schizophrenia complain of tremors and people who are treated for Parkinson's hear voices and write things like Titus Alone.
there's apparently some kind of delusions when you think you're dead and go catatonic. There's one that makes you think you're dead but I can't find anything else about it. There's a related disorder in which you think that everybody around you has been replaced with exact replicas, because you can tell who a person is but it won't elicit any sort of emotional response.
Rabbits only ovulate when they're copulating or at least going through the motions like those parthenogenetic lizards. So do cats and I think ferrets. And it's apparently painful. They have barbs on their genitals because the trauma is what induces ovulation in the female.
Male ducks have corkscrew penises and female ducks have corkscrew cloacae so they don't have to accept a male's sperm. It's an arms race, apparently.
Rats block the fallopian tubes so only their sperm get in.
Hyenas have enlarged clitorises and nobody knows why. It leads to high mortality rate.
Opossum penises are pronged.
And at the end of the surgery, I realized my shirt was on backwards.
Burning question: is Pac Man a chordate or not?
I mean, they do have sex differentiation or they at least have gender identity forced on them like Katharine from Celestis. You have my applause if you got that reference. I mean, Mega Man isn't biologically male, he's a robot.
