the tourist
Mar. 11th, 2013 07:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yamamanamaLet me tell you about the city. It's a lot like Boston, really, only there's more of it and I've noticed fewer street musicians and more evangelical Christian propagandists. If you ask me, the Great Gray Beast February ate most of the musicians alive, and they won't get out until Easter. I didn't notice a lot of middle easterners, but maybe because I'm not paying much attention and February ate them too, I'm sure the locals don't give a shit, only the people who come to ground zero for religious pilgrimages have a problem. There are enough halal food carts to give Dan Simmons an aneurysm, I can tell you that. All the train stations look the same. At least, all the stations we saw look the same.
They love Subway in New York. I swear there's at least one on every block where the bus went. Since I didn't want to travel to New York to do something I could do anywhere else, I went to an Ethiopian restaurant instead. Let me tell you about Ethiopian food. One of the appetizers was a fresh jalapeño pepper stuffed with tomato and onion. I ordered them in one of my "what the hell was I thinking" moments. I would say something like "Fuck me with a spoon, that's hot!" but Ethiopians don't use spoons. It's not so much the land that eating utensils forgot as it is the land that made a conscious rejection of eating utensils. I'm sure it went something like this: some missionaries visited Ethiopia and showed them a spoon and told them in the simplest and most condescending way "this spoon, you dig food" and the Ethiopians said "Fuck youuuuuu! We've had civilization for over two thousand years and you just come here and tell us how to eat. You can stick that spoon where the sun don't shine!" and they went back to scooping their food with pieces of bread.
As for pictures, you asked, you get. Not now, though, I took the batteries from my mouse when I left for New York and then I used up all the batteries on the camera and then I had to take the batteries out of the camera and put them in the mouse so I can type these entries up. And I was exhausted when I got home so I waited. I slept well and wasn't confused when I woke up like I was the last time I spent a few nights away from home. I dreamt of Civ II of all things and somebody was stealing all the goody huts and a few people I knew. I don't remember that very much.
You could watch movies that I think you'd otherwise need to get in Chinese bootleg DVD form for $15.50, and a can of coke in the hotel costs about $6. I do wonder who buys these. I'd say rich people do, but I think they're money-savvy enough to get their coke from the nearby Kwik-E Mart instead. Maybe people who don't notice the price list. Maybe people staying there on company money.
That was the way things were before the raccoon takeover. They are taking over. Look it up.
So, here's the deal. I took a lot of pictures, and I mean it when I say a lot. So, you can expect at least three entries about my New York adventures, maybe even four, filled with pictures, from now until the end of March.
burning question: on the Simpsons, there's a line about how this room was exactly like every other room with one difference… oh, they took that out. Yes, it is like the other rooms. Anyway, what do you think that difference was? Something boring like a water fountain, or something exciting but not box-related like a pinball machine?
They love Subway in New York. I swear there's at least one on every block where the bus went. Since I didn't want to travel to New York to do something I could do anywhere else, I went to an Ethiopian restaurant instead. Let me tell you about Ethiopian food. One of the appetizers was a fresh jalapeño pepper stuffed with tomato and onion. I ordered them in one of my "what the hell was I thinking" moments. I would say something like "Fuck me with a spoon, that's hot!" but Ethiopians don't use spoons. It's not so much the land that eating utensils forgot as it is the land that made a conscious rejection of eating utensils. I'm sure it went something like this: some missionaries visited Ethiopia and showed them a spoon and told them in the simplest and most condescending way "this spoon, you dig food" and the Ethiopians said "Fuck youuuuuu! We've had civilization for over two thousand years and you just come here and tell us how to eat. You can stick that spoon where the sun don't shine!" and they went back to scooping their food with pieces of bread.
As for pictures, you asked, you get. Not now, though, I took the batteries from my mouse when I left for New York and then I used up all the batteries on the camera and then I had to take the batteries out of the camera and put them in the mouse so I can type these entries up. And I was exhausted when I got home so I waited. I slept well and wasn't confused when I woke up like I was the last time I spent a few nights away from home. I dreamt of Civ II of all things and somebody was stealing all the goody huts and a few people I knew. I don't remember that very much.
You could watch movies that I think you'd otherwise need to get in Chinese bootleg DVD form for $15.50, and a can of coke in the hotel costs about $6. I do wonder who buys these. I'd say rich people do, but I think they're money-savvy enough to get their coke from the nearby Kwik-E Mart instead. Maybe people who don't notice the price list. Maybe people staying there on company money.
That was the way things were before the raccoon takeover. They are taking over. Look it up.
So, here's the deal. I took a lot of pictures, and I mean it when I say a lot. So, you can expect at least three entries about my New York adventures, maybe even four, filled with pictures, from now until the end of March.
burning question: on the Simpsons, there's a line about how this room was exactly like every other room with one difference… oh, they took that out. Yes, it is like the other rooms. Anyway, what do you think that difference was? Something boring like a water fountain, or something exciting but not box-related like a pinball machine?
