no place any more
Oct. 10th, 2017 06:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yamamanamaI think I just made things worse with Ashley. She always comes up with a flimsy excuse to not be near me and she turned her back to me and was rubbing her temples so clearly something's wrong and I'm really really stressing her out and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, but she won't tell me what that something is and she doesn't listen to me anyway. She's friendly to other people. I'm depressed and emotionally wracked when she's around and wistful when she isn't. Holly said I'd probably be at peace without her. I don't know. As much as she pisses me off sometimes, I don't think I'd be half as heartbroken if she weren't one of the nicest, coolest (and possibly most infuriating) people I've ever met. And it distresses me to see her like this.
And it doesn't help that every time I ask her if something's wrong, she says no. She's not as opaque as she thinks she is. I don't want her to be afraid. I don't want her to be uncomfortable. I really do value our friendship, no matter how brief and how toxic it was.
And I think that even if we eventually resolve this, we can't ever go back to the way things were.
I don't think her laugh is so infectious anymore.
***
On the bright side, I did finally buy A Closed And Common Orbit and All The Birds In The Sky.
The guy at the registers said that he's working on opening up rifts in spacetime. I'm not sure if Austral is getting a US release anyway. I saw one of the Burton and Swinburne novels but I can never remember which of the later ones I have and for many reasons, I will not be able to just give it to Ashley.
Spoilers: the only one I don't have is The Rise of the Automated Aristocrats.
The woman at the tea store has purple hair now.
Klea looks a lot like Leah, dark-eyed with black plastic framed glasses and brunette, and is studying medicine. When she told me her name, I told her it's funny because their names even sound alike. The names aren't related; Klea is Greek (it means "glory" as in Kleopátra VII Philopátor), while Leah is Hebrew.
Karen says the hardest thing to draw are eyes and noses and to me it's ears. Karen has a pierced nose and a tattoo of lampshade-shaped flowers on her ankle. She was in Boston for a run, and she had a plastic bag over her phone. I asked if it messed up the photo she took and she said no.
A man on the Green Line had abstract Indian-looking designs tattooed along his arm. There was a woman with a tree pendant and an androgynous-looking woman in a silver jacket with short green hair and black fingernails and Sterling Archer's chin. The time machine she's looking for hasn't been invented yet. Therefore, if she fails her mission, she has to wait until a point in the future in which the time machine will be invented.
At the MFA, a salsa band from Puerto Rico played and I sketched the two dancers, a woman in a red dress and a bald man with a tattoo partially obscured by the sleeves of his shirt. I wonder if they're the same group that played last year.
From the description, I was expecting Mise en scène (I have no idea how accents work in French or if they even do anything but look pretty, as Ashley's probably moping around like Droopy Dog on downers and Emma doesn't answer messages I send her) to be a film inspired by M, To Kill A Mockingbird, Fahrenheit 451, and The Great Dictator., but it was images inspired by them; a cone used by firemen when burning books, scenes depicting spy devices and satellite antennae from a film inspired by Fahrenheit 451 called The Watchers, about a near future where life is regulated by televised propaganda, drugs, and book-burning raids, colored like a TV calibration pattern, Scout in a tire in red green and yellow (!) images, a lifesized Scout wood doll and some clown balloons inspired by M, censored scenes from The Great Dictator.
A woman had a tattoo of the sun and moon in embrace on her back, while a different woman had a green design on her arm and what could have been a green fal'Cie brand on her chest, but I didn't get the chance to ask her.
I asked Kaci if she spells her name with a C or with a K. Turns out it's technically both. Also, there was Emily, Elise, and a woman with blue hair.
Ghi is a French name that her father thought was Irish. It's short for Ghislaine (Ghislain is the masculine version), which is a very old-fashioned name in France and Belgium. She has two dogs, two bunnies, a beardie, a bird, a rat or two, two dwarf hamsters, and maybe a few other things I've forgotten. She has dark royal purple hair. She was eating some sort of pastry. Whatever it was, it looked delicious. She knows what a barred owl is but what she really likes are barn owls (I've never seen one of those before. What we have somewhere at the wildlife center is a photograph of a barred owl and a barn owl together) and she has seen Labyrinth but very long ago.
The train was so empty that I just assumed everyone who got on was planning to stay on past JFK/UMass.
That was not the case for the woman with an afro and glasses and the woman with a black jacket.
burning question: Why do you have to be such a shithead all the time, Ashley?
And it doesn't help that every time I ask her if something's wrong, she says no. She's not as opaque as she thinks she is. I don't want her to be afraid. I don't want her to be uncomfortable. I really do value our friendship, no matter how brief and how toxic it was.
And I think that even if we eventually resolve this, we can't ever go back to the way things were.
I don't think her laugh is so infectious anymore.
***
On the bright side, I did finally buy A Closed And Common Orbit and All The Birds In The Sky.
The guy at the registers said that he's working on opening up rifts in spacetime. I'm not sure if Austral is getting a US release anyway. I saw one of the Burton and Swinburne novels but I can never remember which of the later ones I have and for many reasons, I will not be able to just give it to Ashley.
Spoilers: the only one I don't have is The Rise of the Automated Aristocrats.
The woman at the tea store has purple hair now.
Klea looks a lot like Leah, dark-eyed with black plastic framed glasses and brunette, and is studying medicine. When she told me her name, I told her it's funny because their names even sound alike. The names aren't related; Klea is Greek (it means "glory" as in Kleopátra VII Philopátor), while Leah is Hebrew.
Karen says the hardest thing to draw are eyes and noses and to me it's ears. Karen has a pierced nose and a tattoo of lampshade-shaped flowers on her ankle. She was in Boston for a run, and she had a plastic bag over her phone. I asked if it messed up the photo she took and she said no.
A man on the Green Line had abstract Indian-looking designs tattooed along his arm. There was a woman with a tree pendant and an androgynous-looking woman in a silver jacket with short green hair and black fingernails and Sterling Archer's chin. The time machine she's looking for hasn't been invented yet. Therefore, if she fails her mission, she has to wait until a point in the future in which the time machine will be invented.
At the MFA, a salsa band from Puerto Rico played and I sketched the two dancers, a woman in a red dress and a bald man with a tattoo partially obscured by the sleeves of his shirt. I wonder if they're the same group that played last year.
From the description, I was expecting Mise en scène (I have no idea how accents work in French or if they even do anything but look pretty, as Ashley's probably moping around like Droopy Dog on downers and Emma doesn't answer messages I send her) to be a film inspired by M, To Kill A Mockingbird, Fahrenheit 451, and The Great Dictator., but it was images inspired by them; a cone used by firemen when burning books, scenes depicting spy devices and satellite antennae from a film inspired by Fahrenheit 451 called The Watchers, about a near future where life is regulated by televised propaganda, drugs, and book-burning raids, colored like a TV calibration pattern, Scout in a tire in red green and yellow (!) images, a lifesized Scout wood doll and some clown balloons inspired by M, censored scenes from The Great Dictator.
A woman had a tattoo of the sun and moon in embrace on her back, while a different woman had a green design on her arm and what could have been a green fal'Cie brand on her chest, but I didn't get the chance to ask her.
I asked Kaci if she spells her name with a C or with a K. Turns out it's technically both. Also, there was Emily, Elise, and a woman with blue hair.
Ghi is a French name that her father thought was Irish. It's short for Ghislaine (Ghislain is the masculine version), which is a very old-fashioned name in France and Belgium. She has two dogs, two bunnies, a beardie, a bird, a rat or two, two dwarf hamsters, and maybe a few other things I've forgotten. She has dark royal purple hair. She was eating some sort of pastry. Whatever it was, it looked delicious. She knows what a barred owl is but what she really likes are barn owls (I've never seen one of those before. What we have somewhere at the wildlife center is a photograph of a barred owl and a barn owl together) and she has seen Labyrinth but very long ago.
The train was so empty that I just assumed everyone who got on was planning to stay on past JFK/UMass.
That was not the case for the woman with an afro and glasses and the woman with a black jacket.
burning question: Why do you have to be such a shithead all the time, Ashley?
