it's bad for me
Apr. 15th, 2018 05:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yamamanamaSo yeah here we go. Let's dive into MAGA 2020 AND BEYOND. There will be spoilers but who the fuck cares? Some of these stories have twist endings.
• So Jon Del Arroz' story is the one I've probably already talked about, in which Trump has a giant mecha built for Barron and then Barron fights evil Mexicans that were bred with alien DNA by the Chinese and they're led by Kim Jong-un. And despite having the most advanced computer ever, it still needs to be piloted.
• Barron is 17 years old in this one. In other words, Trump was reelected. It also says that Trump has a knack for design elements. He's also such a Marty-Stu that he can beat the Koreans at Starcraft. Well, maybe not Starcraft.
• I'm honestly surprised that the wall isn't made of gold. Mexico paid for the wall, of course. Somehow this doesn't strain relations between the countries.
• And this guy calls himself the Leading Hispanic Voice in Science Fiction. Not just a leading voice. If you ask me, he doesn't qualify as that either.
• It doesn't take itself very seriously. It's also not particularly funny.
• A few of the "stories" in the book are just essays. You must fight the Deep State and vote for Donald Trump in the 2020 election or else the Deep State will win.
• The Last Hippie is a story about people who can't or won't accept HOW TRUMP MADE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN are exiled to an island and given supplies via airdrop and one of them has a bomb and doesn't want to go. It's by Scott Bell. He's probably related to Eric Allen Bell.
• Michael thought it would be Madagascar, to unironically parallel the Madagascar Plan. I'm pretty sure that Madagascar was merely the German byword for a distant and possibly mythical location, a la Timbuktu.
I thought it would be Nantucket. Or maybe Taiwan if they're generous.
• We're both wrong. It's one of the Bahamas. I'm not sure if it's because almost everyone supports trumpism or if they just don't know shit. The Bahamas have a population of 391,232 people spread across 700 islands. Hillary got about 64 million votes, and that doesn't include people who were ineligible to vote . They get food drops. It's also really heavy-handed with regard to sex and gender. It seems that they were on the losing end of a revolution. Megatons is not a unit of radiation. He's related to Soros György and it's set far enough in the future that there are several generations. Probably. He has a bomb.
• Most of the story is describing guns and cars and shit.
• This reminds me of The City, Not Long After, only written by a team of barely literate apes and from the perspective of the military.
• You know what? Read The City, Not Long After instead of this. Maybe wait until the end of summer. If you've read it, maybe read A Mask For The General, which I've not read, but it sounds very similar in tone.
• Cleaning The Rolls by some nobody named P.A.Piatt is about dead people voting. Since it's not Sideshow Bob Roberts, I really don't care. Anyway, what they mean is that the dead have risen and they're voting for Democrats.
• Another reviewer says this story tosses a dig at a certain person notorious for Asian influences. I was expecting Cordwainer Smith. I got a Chinese restaurant called Lucky 770 where they make you speak Chinese (I'm not sure if they want Mandarin or Cantonese or Wu or what) but they still serve pupu platters, which are totally American Chinese. And they're sampler dishes of appetizers. It's like the writer wasn't aware that China is a very large country with very many regional cuisines.
• And also sushi is on the menu.
• He expects sweet tea. Sweet tea is for Marxists.
• Arlan Andrews' M.A.G.A.I. features Beryl, who is tasked to write some face recognition software. for national security. this is a good thing. but she's a liberal who hates Trump.
• in the background story, it mentions "trillions of picoseconds" and by the way a picosecond is 1 trillionth of a second. This happens a lot and it's really bothering me. I don't know if he thought a picosecond was something smaller or if he's doing it to be clever but if it's the latter, it's not working.
• At the end, she can't believe who the AI is targeting as a threat to making America great again. The story doesn't say, but I think it's her.
• Isn't this just IT from A Wrinkle in Time? This story sucks.
• Daniel Humphreys wrote a story about a girl spending time with her grandpa. Twist is, her grandpa is Obama and he's bitter and resentful about how Trump undid everything he did and made America great again.
• And a private company is colonizing Mars and Obama's like "humph, maybe they could feed and teach people." For a mustache-twirling villain, he sure has a point. His biggest mistake was "regulation, universal health care, forced diversity."
• Now everyone telecommunicates via the internet and they use nuclear power.
• Anyway, the girl's name is Olivia and she was born in 2023. It's not at all unlikely that there will be people named Olivia, even when the top ten names now include things like Mélisande and Leocadia and Rey, It's just unlikely that Olivia Everyteen is a thing, since the whole thing about her being Obama's granddaughter is a twist. It's like writing a typical pre-teen in 2018 and naming her Ashley.
• Monalisa Foster's story is 8 pages about how global warming is a hoax.
• There's one about people saying things that are on their mind on Hanukkah and one of them is like "HEY GUYS TRUMP MADE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" I don't know if it's an actual thing.
• Except nobody actually likes Trump or Pence.
• I was going to say one of the most unrealistic things is that people in an indefinite future still listen to Kid Rock. Specifically bawitaba
• the story is pretty much this man lives in a bubble and doesn't understand why people like Donald Trump because he lives in a bubble and his daughter likes trump and listens to Kid Rock and he doesn't understand why because he lives in a bubble and he say that mexicans are a blessing to this country. It might not even be set in the future. It mentions Warren running against Trump but that might be wishful thinking.
• most of these barely qualify as science fiction. some of them barely qualify as stories. it's just some people talking about "HEY GUYS REMEMBER WHEN TRUMP MADE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!"
• or maybe they're like "HEY GUYS I DON'T KNOW WHY PEOPLE LIKE DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE I'M A STUPID LIBERAL WHO DOESN'T LIVE IN THE REAL AMERICA WHERE PEOPLE LISTEN TO KID ROCK."
• There are two stories about Canada being a dystopia. One of them is really long and mostly dialogue and also they made white heterosexual males third class citizens.
• There's one fantasy story. I think someone brings a gun to generic fantasyland and then says they're going to make AnCapitia great again.
• there's one where Donald Trump's face is put on Mount Rushmore. Made out of gold? What?
• I promised to never read a Torgersen story again but I was morbidly curious. He's probably the biggest name in this piece of shit.
• Anyway, plot is this: assassin comes back in time to kill Donald Trump and prevent a civilization-destroying war but the Torg self-insert is like "no, don't do this, if you do, everyone will be resentful and angry and you'll cause the civilization destroying war." And so she fails at her goal. But if failing at her goal prevented the war, that would cause some kind of paradox effect.
• Michael was like "you put way more thought into this than any of the writers did."
• he's given very little in the way of description, only that her breasts are small.
• I'm not sure how many of these characters are self-inserts.
• I don't know if there's a limit on how far back in time she can go or if it simply does not occur to anyone to go back in time to 1988 and bring some cocaine. It's not like she's going to leave any useful DNA evidence. The only thing that would change is a throwaway line in The Simpsons.
• there's a dumb story about insurance for people who accidentally have children.
• because there's no more abortion thanks to Project Veritas, Wiki Leaks, and the Trump Administration.
• Mind you, these stories are supposed to be utopian.
• Dawn Witzke says that the most important thing about the election is control over the Supreme Court, so bite your tongue and vote Trump even if you don't like anything about him.
• There's one about aliens making people tell the truth but it's mostly just a screed against Islam. I'm not even going to bother. We already have The Time Traveler by Dan Simmons. Your life will be better if you don't read this.
• There's a story about Trump. Or essay. Or something. I don't even know. Anyway, his response is both competent and successful and the writer mocks anyone who thinks otherwise for magickal thinking.
• Chris Donahue's story is pretty much 7 pages of dialogue. It's about Hollywood executives because someone forgot that the top-grossing movie in the US has a woman, a Nigerian, and a Guatemalan as the protagonists. Black Panther is the 3rd top grossing movie talking about how nobody want to watch movies with social justice in them.
• they're all bad. most are bad in a bland way. some drift into unintentional parody. a few of them, notably Auntie's Magnificent Bricks, are offensive as well as offensively bad. It's a story about Based Stick Man becoming the Praetorian Guard for Trump and he wears that disgusting frog mask.
• The writer of that story is fucking insane, wanted to vote for Cruz, prayed for a sign she should vote for Trump, and then heard about spirit cooking and pizzagate. She has an anime avatar.
• Declan Finn's story is about Mattis fighting ISIS. They're ISIS. They're obviously all beard-twirling villains.
• Dawn Witzke has yet another story, in which some schoolchildren are taken to a museum with a bunch of blechy gold statues of Donald Trump, where they learn that Donald Trump Made America Great Again and funded the holograph phone, the cure for cancer, and the porta-puter which I'm pretty sure is just an iPad or maybe even a laptop.
• I think the most unrealistic thing about this story is that Trump won the 2020 election with 45 states and 83% of the popular vote. Maybe Based Stick Man and his froggy friends are attacking polling places. Maybe Trump ran unopposed.
• I can't imagine Trump winning the popular vote if he ran unopposed. The popular vote would be split between Batman, Hank Scorpio, and The Incredible Hulk.
• Tommy Everyteen isn't unrealistic, even in 2150 or whatever year this thing is set. Somewhen in the 22nd century.
• Combining Trump Made America Great Again with stay-at-home mothers and fatherly corporal punishment isn't particularly unrealistic.
• Libraries and museums are now indoor golf courses.
• There's a story in which SATAN IS THWARTED BY TRUMP'S RE-ELECTION. ALSO, WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE ARE A SATANIC PLOT.
• Whoever said it was worth the 5 dollars is wrong. It's not worth that. I got it for free and I still feel ripped off. It's like "ok, I read this thing, now give me five dollars or copies of Ecstasia, A Mask For The General, and Rainbow Man."
burning question: How was Kid Rock not a one-hit wonder?
• So Jon Del Arroz' story is the one I've probably already talked about, in which Trump has a giant mecha built for Barron and then Barron fights evil Mexicans that were bred with alien DNA by the Chinese and they're led by Kim Jong-un. And despite having the most advanced computer ever, it still needs to be piloted.
• Barron is 17 years old in this one. In other words, Trump was reelected. It also says that Trump has a knack for design elements. He's also such a Marty-Stu that he can beat the Koreans at Starcraft. Well, maybe not Starcraft.
• I'm honestly surprised that the wall isn't made of gold. Mexico paid for the wall, of course. Somehow this doesn't strain relations between the countries.
• And this guy calls himself the Leading Hispanic Voice in Science Fiction. Not just a leading voice. If you ask me, he doesn't qualify as that either.
• It doesn't take itself very seriously. It's also not particularly funny.
• A few of the "stories" in the book are just essays. You must fight the Deep State and vote for Donald Trump in the 2020 election or else the Deep State will win.
• The Last Hippie is a story about people who can't or won't accept HOW TRUMP MADE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN are exiled to an island and given supplies via airdrop and one of them has a bomb and doesn't want to go. It's by Scott Bell. He's probably related to Eric Allen Bell.
• Michael thought it would be Madagascar, to unironically parallel the Madagascar Plan. I'm pretty sure that Madagascar was merely the German byword for a distant and possibly mythical location, a la Timbuktu.
I thought it would be Nantucket. Or maybe Taiwan if they're generous.
• We're both wrong. It's one of the Bahamas. I'm not sure if it's because almost everyone supports trumpism or if they just don't know shit. The Bahamas have a population of 391,232 people spread across 700 islands. Hillary got about 64 million votes, and that doesn't include people who were ineligible to vote . They get food drops. It's also really heavy-handed with regard to sex and gender. It seems that they were on the losing end of a revolution. Megatons is not a unit of radiation. He's related to Soros György and it's set far enough in the future that there are several generations. Probably. He has a bomb.
• Most of the story is describing guns and cars and shit.
• This reminds me of The City, Not Long After, only written by a team of barely literate apes and from the perspective of the military.
• You know what? Read The City, Not Long After instead of this. Maybe wait until the end of summer. If you've read it, maybe read A Mask For The General, which I've not read, but it sounds very similar in tone.
• Cleaning The Rolls by some nobody named P.A.Piatt is about dead people voting. Since it's not Sideshow Bob Roberts, I really don't care. Anyway, what they mean is that the dead have risen and they're voting for Democrats.
• Another reviewer says this story tosses a dig at a certain person notorious for Asian influences. I was expecting Cordwainer Smith. I got a Chinese restaurant called Lucky 770 where they make you speak Chinese (I'm not sure if they want Mandarin or Cantonese or Wu or what) but they still serve pupu platters, which are totally American Chinese. And they're sampler dishes of appetizers. It's like the writer wasn't aware that China is a very large country with very many regional cuisines.
• And also sushi is on the menu.
• He expects sweet tea. Sweet tea is for Marxists.
• Arlan Andrews' M.A.G.A.I. features Beryl, who is tasked to write some face recognition software. for national security. this is a good thing. but she's a liberal who hates Trump.
• in the background story, it mentions "trillions of picoseconds" and by the way a picosecond is 1 trillionth of a second. This happens a lot and it's really bothering me. I don't know if he thought a picosecond was something smaller or if he's doing it to be clever but if it's the latter, it's not working.
• At the end, she can't believe who the AI is targeting as a threat to making America great again. The story doesn't say, but I think it's her.
• Isn't this just IT from A Wrinkle in Time? This story sucks.
• Daniel Humphreys wrote a story about a girl spending time with her grandpa. Twist is, her grandpa is Obama and he's bitter and resentful about how Trump undid everything he did and made America great again.
• And a private company is colonizing Mars and Obama's like "humph, maybe they could feed and teach people." For a mustache-twirling villain, he sure has a point. His biggest mistake was "regulation, universal health care, forced diversity."
• Now everyone telecommunicates via the internet and they use nuclear power.
• Anyway, the girl's name is Olivia and she was born in 2023. It's not at all unlikely that there will be people named Olivia, even when the top ten names now include things like Mélisande and Leocadia and Rey, It's just unlikely that Olivia Everyteen is a thing, since the whole thing about her being Obama's granddaughter is a twist. It's like writing a typical pre-teen in 2018 and naming her Ashley.
• Monalisa Foster's story is 8 pages about how global warming is a hoax.
• There's one about people saying things that are on their mind on Hanukkah and one of them is like "HEY GUYS TRUMP MADE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" I don't know if it's an actual thing.
• Except nobody actually likes Trump or Pence.
• I was going to say one of the most unrealistic things is that people in an indefinite future still listen to Kid Rock. Specifically bawitaba
• the story is pretty much this man lives in a bubble and doesn't understand why people like Donald Trump because he lives in a bubble and his daughter likes trump and listens to Kid Rock and he doesn't understand why because he lives in a bubble and he say that mexicans are a blessing to this country. It might not even be set in the future. It mentions Warren running against Trump but that might be wishful thinking.
• most of these barely qualify as science fiction. some of them barely qualify as stories. it's just some people talking about "HEY GUYS REMEMBER WHEN TRUMP MADE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!"
• or maybe they're like "HEY GUYS I DON'T KNOW WHY PEOPLE LIKE DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE I'M A STUPID LIBERAL WHO DOESN'T LIVE IN THE REAL AMERICA WHERE PEOPLE LISTEN TO KID ROCK."
• There are two stories about Canada being a dystopia. One of them is really long and mostly dialogue and also they made white heterosexual males third class citizens.
• There's one fantasy story. I think someone brings a gun to generic fantasyland and then says they're going to make AnCapitia great again.
• there's one where Donald Trump's face is put on Mount Rushmore. Made out of gold? What?
• I promised to never read a Torgersen story again but I was morbidly curious. He's probably the biggest name in this piece of shit.
• Anyway, plot is this: assassin comes back in time to kill Donald Trump and prevent a civilization-destroying war but the Torg self-insert is like "no, don't do this, if you do, everyone will be resentful and angry and you'll cause the civilization destroying war." And so she fails at her goal. But if failing at her goal prevented the war, that would cause some kind of paradox effect.
• Michael was like "you put way more thought into this than any of the writers did."
• he's given very little in the way of description, only that her breasts are small.
• I'm not sure how many of these characters are self-inserts.
• I don't know if there's a limit on how far back in time she can go or if it simply does not occur to anyone to go back in time to 1988 and bring some cocaine. It's not like she's going to leave any useful DNA evidence. The only thing that would change is a throwaway line in The Simpsons.
• there's a dumb story about insurance for people who accidentally have children.
• because there's no more abortion thanks to Project Veritas, Wiki Leaks, and the Trump Administration.
• Mind you, these stories are supposed to be utopian.
• Dawn Witzke says that the most important thing about the election is control over the Supreme Court, so bite your tongue and vote Trump even if you don't like anything about him.
• There's one about aliens making people tell the truth but it's mostly just a screed against Islam. I'm not even going to bother. We already have The Time Traveler by Dan Simmons. Your life will be better if you don't read this.
• There's a story about Trump. Or essay. Or something. I don't even know. Anyway, his response is both competent and successful and the writer mocks anyone who thinks otherwise for magickal thinking.
• Chris Donahue's story is pretty much 7 pages of dialogue. It's about Hollywood executives because someone forgot that the top-grossing movie in the US has a woman, a Nigerian, and a Guatemalan as the protagonists. Black Panther is the 3rd top grossing movie talking about how nobody want to watch movies with social justice in them.
• they're all bad. most are bad in a bland way. some drift into unintentional parody. a few of them, notably Auntie's Magnificent Bricks, are offensive as well as offensively bad. It's a story about Based Stick Man becoming the Praetorian Guard for Trump and he wears that disgusting frog mask.
• The writer of that story is fucking insane, wanted to vote for Cruz, prayed for a sign she should vote for Trump, and then heard about spirit cooking and pizzagate. She has an anime avatar.
• Declan Finn's story is about Mattis fighting ISIS. They're ISIS. They're obviously all beard-twirling villains.
• Dawn Witzke has yet another story, in which some schoolchildren are taken to a museum with a bunch of blechy gold statues of Donald Trump, where they learn that Donald Trump Made America Great Again and funded the holograph phone, the cure for cancer, and the porta-puter which I'm pretty sure is just an iPad or maybe even a laptop.
• I think the most unrealistic thing about this story is that Trump won the 2020 election with 45 states and 83% of the popular vote. Maybe Based Stick Man and his froggy friends are attacking polling places. Maybe Trump ran unopposed.
• I can't imagine Trump winning the popular vote if he ran unopposed. The popular vote would be split between Batman, Hank Scorpio, and The Incredible Hulk.
• Tommy Everyteen isn't unrealistic, even in 2150 or whatever year this thing is set. Somewhen in the 22nd century.
• Combining Trump Made America Great Again with stay-at-home mothers and fatherly corporal punishment isn't particularly unrealistic.
• Libraries and museums are now indoor golf courses.
• There's a story in which SATAN IS THWARTED BY TRUMP'S RE-ELECTION. ALSO, WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE ARE A SATANIC PLOT.
• Whoever said it was worth the 5 dollars is wrong. It's not worth that. I got it for free and I still feel ripped off. It's like "ok, I read this thing, now give me five dollars or copies of Ecstasia, A Mask For The General, and Rainbow Man."
burning question: How was Kid Rock not a one-hit wonder?
