yamamanama | Spot: The Cool Adventure

84 days until the vernal equinox

So, because of the pandemic, I thought I'd revive The Twelve Days of Wonky Roms, maybe going through the first set and giving them the writeups they deserve, give Claymates and Yoshi's Safari an actual proper playthrough, and then add a few more because I only played 10 games (and 2 of them didn't function at all), and (ugh) replaying Bronkie the Bronchiosaurus.
So sod that, I thought.
None of these games I've played before. Some of them are known to me, some of them I discovered while seeking out games to play for this. My tentative list changed for reasons. I'd say that maybe in the next pandemic, you'll see me play Squirrel King, Mr. Nutz, and Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel, but I seriously want to be dead before the next pandemic and I seriously better die of old age. And even if I am dead, I want the next pandemic to have actual symptoms instead of being the slots machine from Hell.

If you want the roms, you know where to look. See the burning question.

In other news, it went from December at the end of October to August a week later.
We're getting a Christmas monsoon so I scheduled the first three days in case I lose power. There are three others scheduled later. If I don't lose power or I get power back, I'll post the rest of them. If not, you'll have to wait until mid-January.

Guess what I found! The answer is “Divided We Fall: One Possible Future.” I feel like I’m obligated to read this… this… atrocity… for my readers. I’m saying readers but what I really mean are my readers, anyone who stumbles upon this, and the two or three members of Gamingforce who still stalk me. Tritoch. Well, probably just Tritoch.
The first story, if you could call it that, or possibly framing device is easily the most quickly-dated thing of anything I’ve read. The book was rushed out on October 31, 2020 to stir the blood of Hoydens, Hoyts, and Insta Pundit.
ClapChat, MomentGram, and Dik Dok remind me of the parodies of things in HD era Simpsons episodes. That is not a compliment. Especially Dik Dok, which is somewhere below Funtendo Zii Zu.
Del Arroz actually fucking named a black character Tyrone.
Yeah, it’s worse than MAGA 2020 AND BEYOND.

I heard a languid elecctropop gem but couldn’t make out any words in the lyrics except “city” nor could I make out if the lyrics were actually in English and not French or some kind of Kerry creole. I’d say I’d keep my ears open for this but it’s past Thanksgiving so instead we’re just going to hear 40 different versions of Winter Wonderland and Let It Snow everywhere. Spoiler alert: There’s only one version of Winter Wonderland you need and it’s by the Cocteau Twins.

Spot: The Cool Adventure!

The only difference between easy and hard is that hard gives you a time limit.

I can't imagine how they'd do that. I don't know, maybe Carbonated Lake or something. It could be set on one of those pre-Venera conceptions of Venus.

You’re probably thinking this looks like M.C. Kids, aren’t you? I know I was when I saw it advertised in a Gamepro. And then I never played it as a kid even though I had a Game Boy. Probably forgot about it and assumed it was never actually released.

These are even the exact enemies from M.C. Kids. The difference is that the snail is called Escargot here and it’s called Draggie in M.C. Kids.

I’d say that they all have different names but I think the snails might the only ones that appear in both games. The fish appears on the title screen in the Europea version.

Here's the thing. In Europe, it was called McDonaldland and starred Mick and Mack.

There were introductions before each world too. Ronald lost his magic bag AGAIN and eventually you learn that Hamburglar stole it. Probably because he thought it was filled with hamburgers. Or he could use it to conjure up hamburgers. Or maybe he’s just a kleptomaniac.

I learned that the McDonaldsLand characters were mostly phased out. This was when I was in high school, so it’s not a new thing. I would have attributed that to the fact I only watched The Simpsons and Futurama when I was in high school and college and if it’s anything like 2020, they mostly advertise cars.

There’s not as much focus on exploration as in M.C. Kids.
But this is a pretty clever way around the Gameboy’s limitations. You have to climb up the tree and then back down the other side.

You also fall like you’re on the sun.

Like in M.C. Kids, holding down before you jump makes you jump higher.

What you have to do here is stand on the platforms to turn off the barriers and get the hearts above. If you collect more hearts than the maximum, it loops around. You also get an extra life. I didn’t notice this when I played, and so I tried to avoid hearts when I already had full life.

This is Birdie's domain in the McDonalds version.

Hm, that must be where those monkey-fighting snakes ended up when they were sucked out of the monday-friday plane.

Don't be fooled! That bouncing springboard is really an enemy.

The umbrella makes you fall more gracefully.

Ronald's Funhouse in the McDonalds version.

In the European version, the background looks like Ronald McDonald played the Elegy of Emptiness.

Those things change from platform to crab over time.

This level has low gravity. There are a lot of springboards and it’s hard to avoid the enemies. There’s a bonus level at the end in which you play a shmup but I didn’t pick up that glowy ball at the end of the stage and I don't regret it at all. It’s really short and it’s just for points and health.

The last level is this (easier) Battletoads-style jetpack segment.

The only boss in the game takes 12 hits to beat and the blocks take anywhere from a few seconds to half a minute to spawn. In the McDonalds version, the Hamburglar is there, he runs off and summons this guy. And then he drops Ronald’s magic bag. If you’re playing on hard mode, you get 10 minutes instead of the usual four.