Normy's Beach Babe-O-Rama
Dec. 31st, 2020 07:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yamamanama78 days until the vernal equinox
There's not much. You can change the controls, but none of the schema they give you are optimal, you can do a sound and music test, and there aren't any difficulty settings. There's also a hidden level select option but I didn't make use of it.
A lot of this game's humor is references to other, better things.
Don't be fooled. It’s relatively tame despite its Leisure Suit Larry-ish title and its being on the Genesis rather than SNES.
They're literal goddesses, by the way.
That's not very effective suntan lotion.
He tries drinking it and...
New Jersey during the late Cretaceous was no doubt underwater.
Moon-Unit is the name of one of Frank Zappa's daughters. I knew that but I didn't know Moon-Unit was a woman until I looked it up just now.
The first weapon you pick up is a hammer, but it's no ordinary hammer! It's a hammer that opens up to reveal a punch glove.
I just don't.
It’s a tie in with a comic strip, apparently. Making It by Keith Robinson has a Facebook page. The most recent comic is from July 13, 2020. For whatever reason, the Facebook page only goes up to 2016.
I don’t get it but it’s not quite as bad as Tempest in a Teardrop, at least.
You go flying when you jump on the pigs. Gradually, higher and higher. Unfortunately, even the slightest twitch of the d-pad messes that up and you just start from square one.
At least there isn't a time limit.
There was an egg hidden behind that woolly mammoth.
She's not going to let you by. You can try jumping, dash-jumping, attacking.
They're not even the same type of dinosaur.
The music in this level sounds vaguely like Also Sprach Zarathustra.
I didn’t take any screenshots of the boss but let it be said that he’s sad.
He just jumps back and forth.
And a mammoth lands on him.
Not giving back your health after beating a level is the ultimate dick move in video games. And your lives max out at 9 so you can't take a death after beating every area.
Instead of a boxing glove, you get a rubber chicken here. Because ha ha wacky.
You can get a pie here, thankfully.
I think that might be the stick guy from Robin Hood: Men in Tights
These guys are annoying.
I have no quarrel with you, sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
The symbol on his waistcoat is different.
Huh, I ran into a glitch here.
Normy moves like Sonic got in a fight with Slow Möbius and Flash Man. Ordinarily he moves slowly. When you dash, however, and you will accidentally press the dash button when trying to attack enemies because unfortunately one of the control schema they don't have is a=dash b=attack and c=jump, he goes flying.
Your biggest danger from dashing is falling into a pit.
She either summons a dagron or transforms into one, I can't tell.
Touching those doors damages you for some reason.
The park ranger gorillas keep walking and take a few hits to kill so they'll usually damage you.
This thing is just awkward.
Why, yes, this is a rat in a pimp suit.
Spitting cobras are Old World. And so are gorillas. But the bowl cuts are associated with various South American natives as well as Moe from the Three Stooges (I'm sorry, it turns out I didn't take a screenshot of one) and only New World monkeys have prehensile tails.
Uhhh.
For whatever reason, when you pause the game, it says “pawsed.” I don’t get it. I mean, I get that it’s a play on the word paw, but I don’t see a context for it. You don’t play as any sort of carnivoran. Maybe it’s surfer slang.
It was my luck to get a really awful screenshot of this guy, who jumps around the screen maniacally.
I thought Dick Dale was the God of Surf Music.
I think he's supposed to be Andy Warhol because there's no one else with that name. But.
Andy Warhol didn't have a beard. And he wasn't involved with video games either.
Those candelabras like to float around off screen and then clonk into you.
Despite being communist Romania, this level has mostly Castlevania aesthetics. I don’t know if things were different in the 70s but right now, Romania uses the type F plug outlet. Interestingly, the game’s graphics make it look like a type F outlet and I don’t know if that’s intentional or just a happy coincidence.
It might be a Virginia Opossum but I can’t be sure. I think it’s just a mouse.
Sunglasses make you invincible.
I was hoping for an armadillo but what are you going to do? Armadillos can’t survive in the Romanian climate anyway.
This game sure loves to hide its enemies behind foreground objects.
When you reach the boss, instead of him bouncing around the screen, you have a video game duel where if you die in the game, you die in real life. And by that, I mean you lose a life and you keep going.
Ugh, pong. Pong against a computer isn't that fun because they can always anticipate where the ball is going to be.
I needed to take a bunch of screenshots just so you can read this.
It takes three seconds for the squirrel to animate.
Someone compared it to Bubsy which is rather rude because at least you have hit points in this, even if you don’t get them back after beating the level.
On the other hand, you don’t really have much in the way of invincibility frames.
I just noticed him playing paddle ball during his idle animation.
I was expecting a shmup segment or something cool like that but no, you just rise up and then you’re in the next level.
They do their best to make it somewhat cheery.
When you pass those gates, the "alive" sign lights up.
Lawyers in heck! Hahaha.
You know, just in case you couldn’t tell who these guys are supposed to be. I’d have guessed “The Mafia” or something. There’s a button that summons an ambulance that runs them all over.
Snowmen in Heck is also familiar from somewhere.
It also wasn’t designed by Doug Tennapel, which gives it points over Earthworm Jim. This isn’t really a good game but I honestly can’t say that Earthworm Jim is a good game either.
There are also rampaging pickles in Heck for whatever reason. I don’t know. They probably ran out of people and things that they either hate or things that they think would be funny to be in a fiery setting.
The politicians also shoot the word "TAXES" at you.
You're probably wondering about Level 7. I know I was. I was thinking "by Pulse's beard, I can't believe I didn't screenshot anything on Level 7." So I look up a longplay of this game and I'm going to let you in on a little secret: There is no level 7. You go straight from 6 to 8. A reference to God is 7 or just laziness? You decide!
Satan is a sad boss as long as you didn’t pick up the squirrel weapon earlier in the level. I assume the squirrel does the same amount of damage as the snow cone. I don’t know, because, and this is a common theme, I don’t have the fucking manual.
The end! The verdict: No, not worth playing. The visuals are pretty nice, at least.
They all have dopey nicknames.
burning question: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
There's not much. You can change the controls, but none of the schema they give you are optimal, you can do a sound and music test, and there aren't any difficulty settings. There's also a hidden level select option but I didn't make use of it.
A lot of this game's humor is references to other, better things.
Don't be fooled. It’s relatively tame despite its Leisure Suit Larry-ish title and its being on the Genesis rather than SNES.
They're literal goddesses, by the way.
That's not very effective suntan lotion.
He tries drinking it and...
New Jersey during the late Cretaceous was no doubt underwater.
Moon-Unit is the name of one of Frank Zappa's daughters. I knew that but I didn't know Moon-Unit was a woman until I looked it up just now.
The first weapon you pick up is a hammer, but it's no ordinary hammer! It's a hammer that opens up to reveal a punch glove.
I just don't.
It’s a tie in with a comic strip, apparently. Making It by Keith Robinson has a Facebook page. The most recent comic is from July 13, 2020. For whatever reason, the Facebook page only goes up to 2016.
I don’t get it but it’s not quite as bad as Tempest in a Teardrop, at least.
You go flying when you jump on the pigs. Gradually, higher and higher. Unfortunately, even the slightest twitch of the d-pad messes that up and you just start from square one.
At least there isn't a time limit.
There was an egg hidden behind that woolly mammoth.
She's not going to let you by. You can try jumping, dash-jumping, attacking.
They're not even the same type of dinosaur.
The music in this level sounds vaguely like Also Sprach Zarathustra.
I didn’t take any screenshots of the boss but let it be said that he’s sad.
He just jumps back and forth.
And a mammoth lands on him.
Not giving back your health after beating a level is the ultimate dick move in video games. And your lives max out at 9 so you can't take a death after beating every area.
Instead of a boxing glove, you get a rubber chicken here. Because ha ha wacky.
You can get a pie here, thankfully.
I think that might be the stick guy from Robin Hood: Men in Tights
These guys are annoying.
I have no quarrel with you, sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
The symbol on his waistcoat is different.
Huh, I ran into a glitch here.
Normy moves like Sonic got in a fight with Slow Möbius and Flash Man. Ordinarily he moves slowly. When you dash, however, and you will accidentally press the dash button when trying to attack enemies because unfortunately one of the control schema they don't have is a=dash b=attack and c=jump, he goes flying.
Your biggest danger from dashing is falling into a pit.
She either summons a dagron or transforms into one, I can't tell.
Touching those doors damages you for some reason.
The park ranger gorillas keep walking and take a few hits to kill so they'll usually damage you.
This thing is just awkward.
Why, yes, this is a rat in a pimp suit.
Spitting cobras are Old World. And so are gorillas. But the bowl cuts are associated with various South American natives as well as Moe from the Three Stooges (I'm sorry, it turns out I didn't take a screenshot of one) and only New World monkeys have prehensile tails.
Uhhh.
For whatever reason, when you pause the game, it says “pawsed.” I don’t get it. I mean, I get that it’s a play on the word paw, but I don’t see a context for it. You don’t play as any sort of carnivoran. Maybe it’s surfer slang.
It was my luck to get a really awful screenshot of this guy, who jumps around the screen maniacally.
I thought Dick Dale was the God of Surf Music.
I think he's supposed to be Andy Warhol because there's no one else with that name. But.
Andy Warhol didn't have a beard. And he wasn't involved with video games either.
Those candelabras like to float around off screen and then clonk into you.
Despite being communist Romania, this level has mostly Castlevania aesthetics. I don’t know if things were different in the 70s but right now, Romania uses the type F plug outlet. Interestingly, the game’s graphics make it look like a type F outlet and I don’t know if that’s intentional or just a happy coincidence.
It might be a Virginia Opossum but I can’t be sure. I think it’s just a mouse.
Sunglasses make you invincible.
I was hoping for an armadillo but what are you going to do? Armadillos can’t survive in the Romanian climate anyway.
This game sure loves to hide its enemies behind foreground objects.
When you reach the boss, instead of him bouncing around the screen, you have a video game duel where if you die in the game, you die in real life. And by that, I mean you lose a life and you keep going.
Ugh, pong. Pong against a computer isn't that fun because they can always anticipate where the ball is going to be.
I needed to take a bunch of screenshots just so you can read this.
It takes three seconds for the squirrel to animate.
Someone compared it to Bubsy which is rather rude because at least you have hit points in this, even if you don’t get them back after beating the level.
On the other hand, you don’t really have much in the way of invincibility frames.
I just noticed him playing paddle ball during his idle animation.
I was expecting a shmup segment or something cool like that but no, you just rise up and then you’re in the next level.
They do their best to make it somewhat cheery.
When you pass those gates, the "alive" sign lights up.
Lawyers in heck! Hahaha.
You know, just in case you couldn’t tell who these guys are supposed to be. I’d have guessed “The Mafia” or something. There’s a button that summons an ambulance that runs them all over.
Snowmen in Heck is also familiar from somewhere.
It also wasn’t designed by Doug Tennapel, which gives it points over Earthworm Jim. This isn’t really a good game but I honestly can’t say that Earthworm Jim is a good game either.
There are also rampaging pickles in Heck for whatever reason. I don’t know. They probably ran out of people and things that they either hate or things that they think would be funny to be in a fiery setting.
The politicians also shoot the word "TAXES" at you.
You're probably wondering about Level 7. I know I was. I was thinking "by Pulse's beard, I can't believe I didn't screenshot anything on Level 7." So I look up a longplay of this game and I'm going to let you in on a little secret: There is no level 7. You go straight from 6 to 8. A reference to God is 7 or just laziness? You decide!
Satan is a sad boss as long as you didn’t pick up the squirrel weapon earlier in the level. I assume the squirrel does the same amount of damage as the snow cone. I don’t know, because, and this is a common theme, I don’t have the fucking manual.
The end! The verdict: No, not worth playing. The visuals are pretty nice, at least.
They all have dopey nicknames.
burning question: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
