Titanic (2005, Famicom)
Dec. 26th, 2021 09:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yamamanama83 days until the vernal equinox
Titanic is an actual game, which is a bit more impressive than decompiling some shovelware and replacing the sprites of Speedy Gonzales with Sonic or Darkwing Duck with Mega Man or Chester Cheetah with a banana in pajamas.
南晶科技 is a fragment of the company that made this game, 深圳市南晶科技有限公司.
2005 is the year this game came out. JonTron criticized this game for being two generations out of date but JonTron’s political and racial beliefs are two generations out of date. So fuck you.
There are no less than three Chinese NES games based on the 1997 movie Titanic. This Prince of Persia-esque platformer I’m playing. The beat-em-up that only works on OpenEmu for whatever reason. And a JRPG called Titanic 1912, in which the Titanic is apparently invaded by giant alien insects from beyond the stars.
There’s Titanic Mystery: Ao no Senritsu, which was made in 1987 and therefore has fuckall to do with the movie. Next year's Twelve Day of Wonky Roms? Yes. 1985 was when they discovered the wreck and found that they had zero chance of ever raising it.
There's Titanic, a hack of the game SOS by the same Peruvian team responsible for Bananas In Pajamas and Sonic The Hedgehog 4. I might play SOS next year.
There’s Titanic: Adventure Out of Time, which is really quite good.
There's Titanic: Honor and Glory, the nuclear fusion or possibly Iranian nuclear weapons program (it would seem that Zeno of Elea is alive and well and running the Iranian nuclear program) of Titanic games.
There’s apparently a fanfic out there in which Bella and Edward of Twilight and Jack and Rose switch places. But seriously, just give Edward a snorkel and toss him in the ocean. Have him walk to Canada.
Because this is Chinese for ants, I can only attempt to translate this. Because the internet is becoming increasingly hostile to desktop users, I can't just give Google Translate an image and get a translation. I can't tell what the second word is and neither can Google Translate's handwrite.
Yandex has that feature but it's not great at Chinese. Something somethindg unsinkable cruise ship. Something something maiden voyage without an end. Something something pair of men and women who fell in love on the journey. Something something a crisis is coming, you need to escape from the sky... huh.
The second sentence seems to be something like "the end of its maiden voyage" Third sentence is roughly " on the journey, a man and woman in love," Opportunity and danger, yep, that's crisis all right. A crisis is coming, you need to escape.
And we get a glorious (?) rendition of My Heart Will Go On. That song was everywhere in 1997. Kenny G covered it. Even had a version with quotes from South Park during the instrumental portions. I have no idea why that exists. I think it was one of those things that was circulating around AOL along with snd files of Barney meets Doom at the time. I don’t even know if the version that includes sound clips from the movie throughout was put out by the record company.
I agree with James Cameron. Too much gravitas for a cheesy pop song. It’s no Kiss Me Goodbye.
The computer game had better music and that’s because it tried to be authentic. And even included some Chopin. The music in the Café Parisienne evokes Kabalevsky to me.
Which is bullshit, of course, as Kabalevsky was 7 years old when the ship sunk. Maybe it’s because I was playing Odyssey: The Legend of Nemesis at the time.
Which also had Chopin.
You have the choice of playing as Jiékè or Lùsī. They play in the exact same way.
Roughly, don't give up, don't get discouraged, you will be able to escape.
I don’t know if they watched the movie. I mean, the car’s there but maybe they were just getting Hitler’s painting. Which they failed to do because Rose spent too much time taking her clothes off and then putting them back on for the drawing scene.
A jumps. B makes Rose blow on a whistle or something but it doesn't actually do anything useful.
It’s actually a very good-looking game… well, not by 2005 standards (I had something about Xenosaga Episode III and Baten Kaitos Origins but that was 2006), but certainly by Famicom standards. The animations are fluid, perhaps to the point of detriment.
The water leaks damage you and wait a minute, the iceberg doesn’t hit while they’re running through the bowels of the ship, it hits while she’s on the deck and she sees it happen because of course it does. Maybe the Titanic is just leaky.
Lives are symbolized by the Heart of the Ocean, which makes sense if you subscribe to the theory that Rose's lifeforce is contained within the diamond and the act of tossing it off the ship causes her to die.
You're treated to a brief scene of the ship sinking when you lose all your lives. The Titanic was basically unsinkable unless everything goes wrong. Spoiler alert: everything went wrong.
If you beat the level, you get a scene of the Titanic launching distress flares. Also, you get the same bit of dialogue. I screenshotted them but then I realized that there are only three of them throughout the game. And if you're wondering why I didn't just play them in English, I didn't know about the English patch until well after the game.
You escape into the engine room, where the ship has come alive and wants you dead.
Not to toot my own horn too much but I’m funnier than JonTron. Not that I’m saying much because imagine if The Nostalgia Critic was distilled into his dopey exaggerated reactions to things and shitty toxic personality. And then make his personality even shittier than Doug Walker’s. That’s JonTron.
Even the levers hurt you.
The shovels and coal carts have come alive.
If Titanic: Adventure Out of Time taught me anything, it’s that they’re taking the long way out.
So you have to escape the (instant death water) and dodge the falling staples.
Sometimes, if you climb the wrong ladder or take a dead end, you have no choice but to die. Thankfully, while your lives are finite, you have infinite continues, which means you only have to start at the beginning of the level. The levels are short.
Hey, it's a different message from these two. Congratulations. If you're reading this, you beat the hardest level in the game.
You made it to the upper class corridors where the carpet has come alive. This level is tough because the carpet and falling light bulbs are difficult to avoid and it's long enough that you can't just tank half the hits and rely on checkpoints.
Looks like you need a key.
Things are a bit more dilapidated here. Apparently, Sorcerer's Apprentice Mickey had tried to stop the iceberg (voiced by Whoopi Goldberg) by imbuing the axes with sentience, but it backfired on him. You can actually glitch the debris and possibly sentient axes by ducking/looking down.
You don't want to go down most of the stairs because even those puddles of water hurt you.
But you can swim down there to get the key. Maybe she came across a snorkel as well. And also she's a dhampyr.
So I thought he was telling you to go down but no, this is just another generic "don't give up" message. And now you tell me there’s a translation patch out there. I’d either have to play through this again, translate it myself, or watch a JonTron video. I know enough Chinese to vouch for their accuracy. It helps that Chinese has a relatively uncomplicated grammatical structure. Time has to pass before you can be at a place. You have to be at a place before you can do anything there. You need an instrument before you use it.
JonTron includes such humor as “haha, those wacky Chinese, using symbols instead of letters!” Except also zooming on his ugly mug and shaking the camera a lot.
These people don't hurt you.
And neither does the dog.
Instead of locking himself in the bridge, Captain Smith is now shouting into a megaphone.
This is no time to be hunting clay pigeons!
Oh, he’s playing the violin. I don’t know why he looks more like J. Bruce Ismay.
You find that the ship has snapped in half, taking David Warner and all of his friends from his multiverse with him.
And now you're swimming for your life after the Titanic sinks.
Evading a creature of the deep more amorphous and less evolved than the Greenland Shark.
Oh, yeah, there are no sound effects whatsoever.
So it turns out that sea turtles do in fact venture that far north. Maybe not in April, though.
I never really got into Game Grumps. The closest I’ve been is watching Commander Holly’s Myst playthrough and then Riven until that fizzled out. Commander Holly is not a good person but in a completely different way. I don’t think she ever dissociated from JonTron though.
And now there’s a thunderstorm. I’m not even sure how I get out of the water. Mashing A, B, and up helps.
She finds Jack on a dinghy milking a giant cow. If you don’t have the oar, he can’t talk to you because he’s busy taking a piss of defiance into the Atlantic. The End.
For Rose, every night the same dream. A deathscythe waiting to seize her soul. Ever since, when she closes her eyes to sleep, it’s there, waiting. “Surrender the diamond.” They say it weakens its victim before taking their soul, and she doesn’t know how much longer she can hold on.
burning question: a touch of the mal de mer, was it?
Titanic is an actual game, which is a bit more impressive than decompiling some shovelware and replacing the sprites of Speedy Gonzales with Sonic or Darkwing Duck with Mega Man or Chester Cheetah with a banana in pajamas.
南晶科技 is a fragment of the company that made this game, 深圳市南晶科技有限公司.
2005 is the year this game came out. JonTron criticized this game for being two generations out of date but JonTron’s political and racial beliefs are two generations out of date. So fuck you.
There are no less than three Chinese NES games based on the 1997 movie Titanic. This Prince of Persia-esque platformer I’m playing. The beat-em-up that only works on OpenEmu for whatever reason. And a JRPG called Titanic 1912, in which the Titanic is apparently invaded by giant alien insects from beyond the stars.
There’s Titanic Mystery: Ao no Senritsu, which was made in 1987 and therefore has fuckall to do with the movie. Next year's Twelve Day of Wonky Roms? Yes. 1985 was when they discovered the wreck and found that they had zero chance of ever raising it.
There's Titanic, a hack of the game SOS by the same Peruvian team responsible for Bananas In Pajamas and Sonic The Hedgehog 4. I might play SOS next year.
There’s Titanic: Adventure Out of Time, which is really quite good.
There's Titanic: Honor and Glory, the nuclear fusion or possibly Iranian nuclear weapons program (it would seem that Zeno of Elea is alive and well and running the Iranian nuclear program) of Titanic games.
There’s apparently a fanfic out there in which Bella and Edward of Twilight and Jack and Rose switch places. But seriously, just give Edward a snorkel and toss him in the ocean. Have him walk to Canada.
Because this is Chinese for ants, I can only attempt to translate this. Because the internet is becoming increasingly hostile to desktop users, I can't just give Google Translate an image and get a translation. I can't tell what the second word is and neither can Google Translate's handwrite.
Yandex has that feature but it's not great at Chinese. Something somethindg unsinkable cruise ship. Something something maiden voyage without an end. Something something pair of men and women who fell in love on the journey. Something something a crisis is coming, you need to escape from the sky... huh.
The second sentence seems to be something like "the end of its maiden voyage" Third sentence is roughly " on the journey, a man and woman in love," Opportunity and danger, yep, that's crisis all right. A crisis is coming, you need to escape.
And we get a glorious (?) rendition of My Heart Will Go On. That song was everywhere in 1997. Kenny G covered it. Even had a version with quotes from South Park during the instrumental portions. I have no idea why that exists. I think it was one of those things that was circulating around AOL along with snd files of Barney meets Doom at the time. I don’t even know if the version that includes sound clips from the movie throughout was put out by the record company.
I agree with James Cameron. Too much gravitas for a cheesy pop song. It’s no Kiss Me Goodbye.
The computer game had better music and that’s because it tried to be authentic. And even included some Chopin. The music in the Café Parisienne evokes Kabalevsky to me.
Which is bullshit, of course, as Kabalevsky was 7 years old when the ship sunk. Maybe it’s because I was playing Odyssey: The Legend of Nemesis at the time.
Which also had Chopin.
You have the choice of playing as Jiékè or Lùsī. They play in the exact same way.
Roughly, don't give up, don't get discouraged, you will be able to escape.
I don’t know if they watched the movie. I mean, the car’s there but maybe they were just getting Hitler’s painting. Which they failed to do because Rose spent too much time taking her clothes off and then putting them back on for the drawing scene.
A jumps. B makes Rose blow on a whistle or something but it doesn't actually do anything useful.
It’s actually a very good-looking game… well, not by 2005 standards (I had something about Xenosaga Episode III and Baten Kaitos Origins but that was 2006), but certainly by Famicom standards. The animations are fluid, perhaps to the point of detriment.
The water leaks damage you and wait a minute, the iceberg doesn’t hit while they’re running through the bowels of the ship, it hits while she’s on the deck and she sees it happen because of course it does. Maybe the Titanic is just leaky.
Lives are symbolized by the Heart of the Ocean, which makes sense if you subscribe to the theory that Rose's lifeforce is contained within the diamond and the act of tossing it off the ship causes her to die.
You're treated to a brief scene of the ship sinking when you lose all your lives. The Titanic was basically unsinkable unless everything goes wrong. Spoiler alert: everything went wrong.
If you beat the level, you get a scene of the Titanic launching distress flares. Also, you get the same bit of dialogue. I screenshotted them but then I realized that there are only three of them throughout the game. And if you're wondering why I didn't just play them in English, I didn't know about the English patch until well after the game.
You escape into the engine room, where the ship has come alive and wants you dead.
Not to toot my own horn too much but I’m funnier than JonTron. Not that I’m saying much because imagine if The Nostalgia Critic was distilled into his dopey exaggerated reactions to things and shitty toxic personality. And then make his personality even shittier than Doug Walker’s. That’s JonTron.
Even the levers hurt you.
The shovels and coal carts have come alive.
If Titanic: Adventure Out of Time taught me anything, it’s that they’re taking the long way out.
So you have to escape the (instant death water) and dodge the falling staples.
Sometimes, if you climb the wrong ladder or take a dead end, you have no choice but to die. Thankfully, while your lives are finite, you have infinite continues, which means you only have to start at the beginning of the level. The levels are short.
Hey, it's a different message from these two. Congratulations. If you're reading this, you beat the hardest level in the game.
You made it to the upper class corridors where the carpet has come alive. This level is tough because the carpet and falling light bulbs are difficult to avoid and it's long enough that you can't just tank half the hits and rely on checkpoints.
Looks like you need a key.
Things are a bit more dilapidated here. Apparently, Sorcerer's Apprentice Mickey had tried to stop the iceberg (voiced by Whoopi Goldberg) by imbuing the axes with sentience, but it backfired on him. You can actually glitch the debris and possibly sentient axes by ducking/looking down.
You don't want to go down most of the stairs because even those puddles of water hurt you.
But you can swim down there to get the key. Maybe she came across a snorkel as well. And also she's a dhampyr.
So I thought he was telling you to go down but no, this is just another generic "don't give up" message. And now you tell me there’s a translation patch out there. I’d either have to play through this again, translate it myself, or watch a JonTron video. I know enough Chinese to vouch for their accuracy. It helps that Chinese has a relatively uncomplicated grammatical structure. Time has to pass before you can be at a place. You have to be at a place before you can do anything there. You need an instrument before you use it.
JonTron includes such humor as “haha, those wacky Chinese, using symbols instead of letters!” Except also zooming on his ugly mug and shaking the camera a lot.
These people don't hurt you.
And neither does the dog.
Instead of locking himself in the bridge, Captain Smith is now shouting into a megaphone.
This is no time to be hunting clay pigeons!
Oh, he’s playing the violin. I don’t know why he looks more like J. Bruce Ismay.
You find that the ship has snapped in half, taking David Warner and all of his friends from his multiverse with him.
And now you're swimming for your life after the Titanic sinks.
Evading a creature of the deep more amorphous and less evolved than the Greenland Shark.
Oh, yeah, there are no sound effects whatsoever.
So it turns out that sea turtles do in fact venture that far north. Maybe not in April, though.
I never really got into Game Grumps. The closest I’ve been is watching Commander Holly’s Myst playthrough and then Riven until that fizzled out. Commander Holly is not a good person but in a completely different way. I don’t think she ever dissociated from JonTron though.
And now there’s a thunderstorm. I’m not even sure how I get out of the water. Mashing A, B, and up helps.
She finds Jack on a dinghy milking a giant cow. If you don’t have the oar, he can’t talk to you because he’s busy taking a piss of defiance into the Atlantic. The End.
For Rose, every night the same dream. A deathscythe waiting to seize her soul. Ever since, when she closes her eyes to sleep, it’s there, waiting. “Surrender the diamond.” They say it weakens its victim before taking their soul, and she doesn’t know how much longer she can hold on.
burning question: a touch of the mal de mer, was it?
