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yamamanama81 days until the vernal equinox
I don’t have a rule against playing games I’ve played before. That’s just how things typically end up. For instance, I own copies of Rockin’ Kats and Fantasy Zone. My friend had Claymates.
I'm playing the Super NES version of this.
There’s a Genesis version but the graphics are worse, the colors are muddier, the game runs slightly faster which might actually be a bad thing, the music, I don’t know, probably about the same but maybe the grindy Genesis sound fits the game’s aesthetic more.
I’ve played this very briefly. I was really intrigued by a Nintendo Power article about it. They also had something about an adapter that could change the game speed. I thought I had the rom for this but maybe that was on my Grape iMac.
So, despite getting a feature in Nintendo Power, this game was just forgotten about, with nary a guide on Gamefaqs. Fun fact: Someone found the source code to the SNES version on an eBay bought hard drive. Apparently, it got a PSP port.
This isn't going to be a guide but I'll offer this advice: Savor that feeling of anticipation because you know you're going to be disappointed by the real thing.
Very near.
Most of the levels begin with a neat-looking teleportation animation, not shown here, and a quote by BOB. In fact, I'm just going to call him BOB from here on out.
Man, these are some confusing controls. And I see no way to customize them. Probably because that would screw with the HUD.
B is jump, as is typical on the SNES. I’ve told the “died to the first enemy in Super Mario World” story, I do believe. A is punch. Y is shoot. and X is use a special item. Oh, that’s kind of cool, the game shows it to you.
The regular shot does less damage than the fist and has limited ammo but it fires fast.
It's slower but spread out.
The flamethrower is fast but eats up ammo and has short range.
Missiles home in on enemies but they're not amazing at it. Save them for bosses.
This shot is basically an upgraded regular shot. It's part of the Too Good To Use Club.
Save this for the end of the game. It's powerful but you only get three shots from picking it up.
Your goal is to find that swirl at the end of each level before the time runs out.
And then move on to the next level.
Repeat some 47 times.
You can duck but you can’t jump while ducking.
More annoyingly, you can’t punch while clinging to rails.
But at least your health replenishes when you finish a level.
Because you have no invincibility frames whatsoever.
Some levels have these rechargers.
You can shoot up, but not while jumping, but you can not shoot diagonally even though I swear certain parts of the game expect you to.
I don’t think Borg Party Room is an official level name.
Oh, hey, look, there's an item there. I'm going to go get it and...
Deathtrap!
Here are the level passwords if you want them. If you change the second digit to a 9, you will get full powerups.
These guys spit fire.
These guys fall down from the ceiling and chomp on you.
In the Genesis version, punch and shoot use the same button, which is actually pretty nice, because all the other attacks have limited ammo.
The glowing pools damage you.
The plant just constantly spits out grubs until you destroy it.
Oh, goodie.
They seem to not understand the concept of racing levels. They’re exactly like every other level, in that they’re a maze, but instead of enemies, your only obstacles are the time limit, some electrified walls, and the fact that your ship handles like three shopping carts and a rocket engine zip-tied together.
Those wrench things also refil your health.
It's time for everyone's favorite attempt at making a game challenging: jumping from tiny platform to tiny platform with slippery controls!
In the boss levels, his intro quote is slightly different.
Just stand on the ladder and try to avoid his sperm while spamming spread shot or homing missiles.
But don't worry if you get hit. It's an attrition boss.
I'm not sure if the second digit affects how many powerups you have. The manual suggests that it doesn't and that you just start the level with 3 tramampolines and 50 shots of the regular gun.
It’s “weird” They don’t do things that differently in Canada, unless we’re talking New Brunswick French.
You can’t shoot up when you’re near a ladder. Which is especially annoying.
Sometimes he does a dance.
Shooting up has extremely limited applications. Like here.
And occasionally destroy those green guys.
Save your spread shot for this form.
This is the end of the world.
BOB finds a car just sitting there.
And we take off from Goth...
...
...only to immediately crash land on Anciena.
At least, it's called that in Nintendo Power. Not in the manual, though.
I think BOB ended up in Commander Keen.
The hooded guys summon lightning.
If you get punched by this guy, you fly backwards until you hit something.
There are ways to exploit it, though.
The doors crush you and instantly kill you. Unfortunately for you, they have a tendency of crushing you even when you think you’re past it.
The shadow guys are easiser than you'd expect.
I don’t like how the game has a really strict time limit while also encouraging exploration.
For whatever reason, there are high tech installations amongst the ruins and lava caves.
This part is really cheap. I think this game has Bubsy “look at us put all this effort into death animations!” Syndrome.
Not only do you take fall damage but there's a short recovery period when you fall from a height, and if you land on one of those lasers or luminous goo or lava or whatever, you take damage while you go through the recovery animation.
Speaking of lava.
Oh hey, these firebirds are immune to fists. No, wait, no, they just have a huge damage field but a really tiny hitbox.
If you’re in the podoboo’s hit box, you take damage as long as you’re in the podoboo’s hit box.
Lava men toss fireballs at you.
If you take a more powerful weapon, it sets that to Y. Which is extremely annoying because you really don’t want to use a valuable weapon on a random enemy when the single shot or three way shot will do just fine. Especially early in the game.
I can’t really show this to you in screenshot form, but the designers of this pyramid level really really really really really like leaps of faith.
Oh, sure, you can look down, but that’s not enough and it involves crouching, which is awkward because you have to get out of the crouching stance to do anything else. Incidentally, you can’t look up.
This is the kind of shit you come up with when you’re a kid drawing Sonic levels. Adulthood is being able to say “maneuvering Sonic through vertical shafts filled with Yoku Blocks with bottomless pits below is dumb bullshit and would not be fun for anyone to play.”
You can see the exit swirl right there. Unfortunately, it's a maze.
The volcanoes blend in really well with the background and each fireball does its own damage. All at once. No invincibility frames.
Here's the level intro teleport effect.
I think I was just breezing through these levels because there are only so many level types and because there's not much interesting to talk about.
This level is filled with dead ends and it doesn't tell you which paths to take either.
You can't avoid the punches while ducking, which is counterintuitive.
Nah, the boss isn't that hard.
Aim up with the rockets when he’s in the center of the screen or above you. Aim forward when he’s on the opposite side.
Avoid the tongue, obviously.
Really, they're all attrition bosses.
There’s a second phase. So switch to the three-way shot because it hits him and also destroys the missiles he shoots at you.
If you thought this gap was too small for BOB to fall through without taking a bit of damage, you’re right.
Tripping those mines causes a giant metal ball to fall down on you. If you're standing right under it, you die instantly. The tricky thing is those mines' hit box play extremely loosely with "tripping it."
I’m sorry, but “I hope you have an invincibility powerup” is not a valid strategy. Fuck this boss.
And fuck this game for being like “o, hey, BSNES (accuracy) stretches out the screenshots you take! Enjoy playing through the ENTIRE FUCKING GAME AGAIN.
I don't know why I'm standing in the lava.
Or why he's green.
I think what they wanted you to do is jump behind him but I keep slipping into the lava. BOB just wasn’t meant for tiny platforms.
And we've still got a lot more Anciena to get through.
Ordinarily I'd probably just use the password but I had a whole bunch of screenshots to take again.
I don't know what this guy does. I think there's only one of them in the game.
Later I found out that you don't want to kill this guy.
I lied about all bosses being attrition boxes.
This boss has an instakill attack. And your movement is just so slippery and the controls, especially while shooting, are just so unresponsive that it’s stupid hard to get out of the way.
And he has a second phase that also has an instakill attack.
My death count here was like 30.
Time to bid farewell to Anciena.
But unfortunately, we crash land on Ultraworld.
Ultraworld's challenge is "get shit on"
Can you find the enemy in this screen shot?
Also get through the levels with inadequate powerups.
Also, don’t die in this game or you lose all your powerups and weapons. Save state often. Make multiple save files. Call the file “Bib” instead. Like Bib Fortuna.
And if you're playing on a console, I dunno, just try not to die, I guess.
Just what this game needs. Another falling segment.
I'll let this mess speak for itself.
The floors here blend too well with the background.
That looks like the main character of Ballz.
I think that's a jawless fish.
You can ride the cockroaches.
This game was very definitely made in the 90s.
Well, that was an easy boss.
They get progressively harder but not by much.
Then the heads attack you.
Yeah.
BOB thinks what we're all thinking.
I ran out of time this level. Thankfully, I always make multiple save files.
Sometimes the game makes powerup usage mandatory.
So, another fun fact: This game used the Wayne's World engine.
I think we're back to attrition bosses.
The levels even look bigger on the map.
Check out that time limit.
The light bulb causes the game to go psychedelic.
And enemies will ignore you.
This is why you (hopefully) have all those invincibility powerups saved up.
That was way too easy.
For Cthulhu, just use all those wave motion cannon shots you had saved up from earlier.
Because we're finally at the end of the game.
And we're going to meet BOB's big date.
Reminds me of the Crushinator.
BOB and his date are now stuck on the asteroid until the heat death of the universe. This may sound happy now but with their superior robot powers, they can get sick of things faster than meatbags.
There was a sequel to this game planned but never released. I have no idea what it's about.
burning question: who the hell in 1993 makes a game in which you can’t change the control scheme?
I don’t have a rule against playing games I’ve played before. That’s just how things typically end up. For instance, I own copies of Rockin’ Kats and Fantasy Zone. My friend had Claymates.
I'm playing the Super NES version of this.
There’s a Genesis version but the graphics are worse, the colors are muddier, the game runs slightly faster which might actually be a bad thing, the music, I don’t know, probably about the same but maybe the grindy Genesis sound fits the game’s aesthetic more.
I’ve played this very briefly. I was really intrigued by a Nintendo Power article about it. They also had something about an adapter that could change the game speed. I thought I had the rom for this but maybe that was on my Grape iMac.
So, despite getting a feature in Nintendo Power, this game was just forgotten about, with nary a guide on Gamefaqs. Fun fact: Someone found the source code to the SNES version on an eBay bought hard drive. Apparently, it got a PSP port.
This isn't going to be a guide but I'll offer this advice: Savor that feeling of anticipation because you know you're going to be disappointed by the real thing.
Very near.
Most of the levels begin with a neat-looking teleportation animation, not shown here, and a quote by BOB. In fact, I'm just going to call him BOB from here on out.
Man, these are some confusing controls. And I see no way to customize them. Probably because that would screw with the HUD.
B is jump, as is typical on the SNES. I’ve told the “died to the first enemy in Super Mario World” story, I do believe. A is punch. Y is shoot. and X is use a special item. Oh, that’s kind of cool, the game shows it to you.
The regular shot does less damage than the fist and has limited ammo but it fires fast.
It's slower but spread out.
The flamethrower is fast but eats up ammo and has short range.
Missiles home in on enemies but they're not amazing at it. Save them for bosses.
This shot is basically an upgraded regular shot. It's part of the Too Good To Use Club.
Save this for the end of the game. It's powerful but you only get three shots from picking it up.
Your goal is to find that swirl at the end of each level before the time runs out.
And then move on to the next level.
Repeat some 47 times.
You can duck but you can’t jump while ducking.
More annoyingly, you can’t punch while clinging to rails.
But at least your health replenishes when you finish a level.
Because you have no invincibility frames whatsoever.
Some levels have these rechargers.
You can shoot up, but not while jumping, but you can not shoot diagonally even though I swear certain parts of the game expect you to.
I don’t think Borg Party Room is an official level name.
Oh, hey, look, there's an item there. I'm going to go get it and...
Deathtrap!
Here are the level passwords if you want them. If you change the second digit to a 9, you will get full powerups.
These guys spit fire.
These guys fall down from the ceiling and chomp on you.
In the Genesis version, punch and shoot use the same button, which is actually pretty nice, because all the other attacks have limited ammo.
The glowing pools damage you.
The plant just constantly spits out grubs until you destroy it.
Oh, goodie.
They seem to not understand the concept of racing levels. They’re exactly like every other level, in that they’re a maze, but instead of enemies, your only obstacles are the time limit, some electrified walls, and the fact that your ship handles like three shopping carts and a rocket engine zip-tied together.
Those wrench things also refil your health.
It's time for everyone's favorite attempt at making a game challenging: jumping from tiny platform to tiny platform with slippery controls!
In the boss levels, his intro quote is slightly different.
Just stand on the ladder and try to avoid his sperm while spamming spread shot or homing missiles.
But don't worry if you get hit. It's an attrition boss.
I'm not sure if the second digit affects how many powerups you have. The manual suggests that it doesn't and that you just start the level with 3 tramampolines and 50 shots of the regular gun.
It’s “weird” They don’t do things that differently in Canada, unless we’re talking New Brunswick French.
You can’t shoot up when you’re near a ladder. Which is especially annoying.
Sometimes he does a dance.
Shooting up has extremely limited applications. Like here.
And occasionally destroy those green guys.
Save your spread shot for this form.
This is the end of the world.
BOB finds a car just sitting there.
And we take off from Goth...
...
...only to immediately crash land on Anciena.
At least, it's called that in Nintendo Power. Not in the manual, though.
I think BOB ended up in Commander Keen.
The hooded guys summon lightning.
If you get punched by this guy, you fly backwards until you hit something.
There are ways to exploit it, though.
The doors crush you and instantly kill you. Unfortunately for you, they have a tendency of crushing you even when you think you’re past it.
The shadow guys are easiser than you'd expect.
I don’t like how the game has a really strict time limit while also encouraging exploration.
For whatever reason, there are high tech installations amongst the ruins and lava caves.
This part is really cheap. I think this game has Bubsy “look at us put all this effort into death animations!” Syndrome.
Not only do you take fall damage but there's a short recovery period when you fall from a height, and if you land on one of those lasers or luminous goo or lava or whatever, you take damage while you go through the recovery animation.
Speaking of lava.
Oh hey, these firebirds are immune to fists. No, wait, no, they just have a huge damage field but a really tiny hitbox.
If you’re in the podoboo’s hit box, you take damage as long as you’re in the podoboo’s hit box.
Lava men toss fireballs at you.
If you take a more powerful weapon, it sets that to Y. Which is extremely annoying because you really don’t want to use a valuable weapon on a random enemy when the single shot or three way shot will do just fine. Especially early in the game.
I can’t really show this to you in screenshot form, but the designers of this pyramid level really really really really really like leaps of faith.
Oh, sure, you can look down, but that’s not enough and it involves crouching, which is awkward because you have to get out of the crouching stance to do anything else. Incidentally, you can’t look up.
This is the kind of shit you come up with when you’re a kid drawing Sonic levels. Adulthood is being able to say “maneuvering Sonic through vertical shafts filled with Yoku Blocks with bottomless pits below is dumb bullshit and would not be fun for anyone to play.”
You can see the exit swirl right there. Unfortunately, it's a maze.
The volcanoes blend in really well with the background and each fireball does its own damage. All at once. No invincibility frames.
Here's the level intro teleport effect.
I think I was just breezing through these levels because there are only so many level types and because there's not much interesting to talk about.
This level is filled with dead ends and it doesn't tell you which paths to take either.
You can't avoid the punches while ducking, which is counterintuitive.
Nah, the boss isn't that hard.
Aim up with the rockets when he’s in the center of the screen or above you. Aim forward when he’s on the opposite side.
Avoid the tongue, obviously.
Really, they're all attrition bosses.
There’s a second phase. So switch to the three-way shot because it hits him and also destroys the missiles he shoots at you.
If you thought this gap was too small for BOB to fall through without taking a bit of damage, you’re right.
Tripping those mines causes a giant metal ball to fall down on you. If you're standing right under it, you die instantly. The tricky thing is those mines' hit box play extremely loosely with "tripping it."
I’m sorry, but “I hope you have an invincibility powerup” is not a valid strategy. Fuck this boss.
And fuck this game for being like “o, hey, BSNES (accuracy) stretches out the screenshots you take! Enjoy playing through the ENTIRE FUCKING GAME AGAIN.
I don't know why I'm standing in the lava.
Or why he's green.
I think what they wanted you to do is jump behind him but I keep slipping into the lava. BOB just wasn’t meant for tiny platforms.
And we've still got a lot more Anciena to get through.
Ordinarily I'd probably just use the password but I had a whole bunch of screenshots to take again.
I don't know what this guy does. I think there's only one of them in the game.
Later I found out that you don't want to kill this guy.
I lied about all bosses being attrition boxes.
This boss has an instakill attack. And your movement is just so slippery and the controls, especially while shooting, are just so unresponsive that it’s stupid hard to get out of the way.
And he has a second phase that also has an instakill attack.
My death count here was like 30.
Time to bid farewell to Anciena.
But unfortunately, we crash land on Ultraworld.
Ultraworld's challenge is "get shit on"
Can you find the enemy in this screen shot?
Also get through the levels with inadequate powerups.
Also, don’t die in this game or you lose all your powerups and weapons. Save state often. Make multiple save files. Call the file “Bib” instead. Like Bib Fortuna.
And if you're playing on a console, I dunno, just try not to die, I guess.
Just what this game needs. Another falling segment.
I'll let this mess speak for itself.
The floors here blend too well with the background.
That looks like the main character of Ballz.
I think that's a jawless fish.
You can ride the cockroaches.
This game was very definitely made in the 90s.
Well, that was an easy boss.
They get progressively harder but not by much.
Then the heads attack you.
Yeah.
BOB thinks what we're all thinking.
I ran out of time this level. Thankfully, I always make multiple save files.
Sometimes the game makes powerup usage mandatory.
So, another fun fact: This game used the Wayne's World engine.
I think we're back to attrition bosses.
The levels even look bigger on the map.
Check out that time limit.
The light bulb causes the game to go psychedelic.
And enemies will ignore you.
This is why you (hopefully) have all those invincibility powerups saved up.
That was way too easy.
For Cthulhu, just use all those wave motion cannon shots you had saved up from earlier.
Because we're finally at the end of the game.
And we're going to meet BOB's big date.
Reminds me of the Crushinator.
BOB and his date are now stuck on the asteroid until the heat death of the universe. This may sound happy now but with their superior robot powers, they can get sick of things faster than meatbags.
There was a sequel to this game planned but never released. I have no idea what it's about.
burning question: who the hell in 1993 makes a game in which you can’t change the control scheme?
