Ren and Stimpy Show: Time Warp
Dec. 29th, 2021 06:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yamamanama80 days until the vernal equinox
Oh joy. I can already tell what I'm getting into.
I was thinking “it’s a beat-em-up, not a platformer. How bad can it possibly be?” I'll tell you.
I have no idea what the fuck is going on in the options menu, nor do I know any way to get out of it aside from resetting and sitting through the company logos again. And, yes, I am aware of the “exit” option but I scrolled down and resorted to mashing buttons until it would let me leave. All I know is that there is nothing on this screen even resembling options.
So let's start the game.
There’s no fucking way that you’re ever going to collect 47,000,000 receipts. It’s like Odyssey: the Legend of Nemesis and the 1,000,000,000 gold piece fee to become a citizen of McTeague. Even if you hack the save, the game can’t handle 111,111,111 pearls and a topaz.
Nay, what you need is 65. You’ll see why later. Why 65 and not 47? Because I have no idea.
I'm not sure if you're supposed to wait because if I press anything, Ren just phases into existence.
The bricks are your health.
You gain health back by knocking over garbage cans and eating the food in there. HOWEVER some of the garbage cans contain flies and some of the food causes you to take damage because stink lines or something, I don’t know.
Hitting the wrong part of the fence, and holy shit, is finding the sweet spot incredibly picky, causes the board to hit you instead.
You can move the trash cans with the grab move, useful in exactly one spot, and you can crawl, useful in exactly one level. Otherwise, they're both completely useless.
I can buy a manual from some potentially dodgy sites. I’m playing this on December 12, 2021. Best case scenario, I can wait a week. Go play something at least somewhat playable instead. Let’s see what’s on my list. Mr. Nutz, Jelly Boy, and finish playing Krusty’s Super Fun House. Probably going to beat the game before that, piecing together what information I can from a longplay and a few multiplayer attempts at the first level. Or maybe I can put it off until next year. Or I can throw five dollars in the trash.
It’s on one of those “hey there, anyone has ren and stimpy time warp manual, searched all the web couldn’t find anywhere” sites as well. The one with the asshole admin with the angry birds avatar. It’s like the successor to Wally Was His Name, except a lot simpler to set up that page for anything you want, from rare books to manuals to obscure demo tapes.
The following statements are lies: “that’s great,” “solid website,” and “entered CC and just downloaded what I needed."
I do like how he uses Ren as a bludgeon here. I wasn't expecting a good screenshot because there's only one frame of animation.
The boss of the level is a pair of dogs.
Happy Happy Joy Joy on an SNES sounds awful
And the scene is unskippable.
These guys just fall on you from nowhere.
This thing makes Ren walk around with a big dopey grin on his face, unable to collect any items or attack any enemies until he finds a hammer.
These things are everywhere in the later levels.
On December 28, 2021, I did find the manual on the Internet Archive, of course (hint: it's Ren AND Stimpy, not Ren & Stimpy) and I learned a few things about this game. Like, if you pick up the happy helmet, and you will, you can bash your head against a wall if you don't have a hammer, and you might not because you can only have one hammer at a time, but that causes you to take damage.
You can use the rubber nipples to scale walls, but to get the stuff between the walls, you're going to need to move the trash can with your grab move.
I stunlocked the first stimpygator to death but that doesn’t seem to work against the second stimpygator.
The damage box of these guys is really big.
Getting a TV from the garbage shows you this secret password. Now you can go into the options and play a minigame. You're supposed to select "fish head," if you can't tell from the image. I know I can't and I took the image.
To do this, enter the code and press start.
If you do it wrong, Ren will say "you filthy swine"
If you do it right, Stimpy will say "Joy" and you select exit and don't do anything but that or you'll undo all your hard work.
The manual says that some of the secret passcodes do things like reverse the controls. The only ones I have are the ones I found in the game and screenshotted and the ones that someone lists on Gamefaqs that give you access to all minigames.
Log Invaders is, despite the song, not better than bad at all. It’s like Space Invaders but unfun and there aren’t any shields to shoot through. You have a deflector shield of your own. It drains energy at a prodigious rate and doesn’t protect you against projectiles that hit you from the side.
Playing it sends you to the next area, where you move to the sides to make the elevator move up or down, and then attempt to grab Gritty Kitty receipts.
It really is Bart vs the Space Mutants except the purple objects are hidden better, you can’t backtrack and if you didn’t find enough, it’s game over.
This is like Asteroids. There’s a button to shoot and a button to teleport to a random spot on the screen and occasionally die but I can’t seem to find the thrust button.
Yes, I did die taking a screenshot of Powdered Toast Man.
This is the level boss. That cup of coffee or whatever turns Ren's pimp slap into the Feisty Slap of Pain. If Ren gets hit, he'll make this godawfully annoying crying sound and you lose the Feisty Slap of Pain. I'm not sure what it does for Stimpy. I can't do this game with two players. Yes, I have friends but if I made them play this, then they probably wouldn't be my friends anymore. I suggest you take that advice.
Maybe Ashley? She'd be expecting the ol' fork in the eye and then she'd be wishing for the ol' fork in the eye.
If you did everyting right, the time machine plops down in front of you.
Don't be fooled by this scene.
If you don't have enough receipts, you get a game over without any sort of hint as to how many you need.
The pizzas and kitty litter are fuel for the time machine for whatever reason. Otherwise, I'm not entirely sure what it is you're meant to do.
If you run out of fuel, this happens and you lose a life.
For the first part of this segment, you have to shoot through bricks.
Uh, phrasing.
In this phase, you have to line up your reticle with the holes and sometimes they don’t give you enough time to react. Hitting the wall of course causes you to lose fuel.
So this might be the least fun game I’ve ever played. Worse than Goofy’s Hysterical History Tour. Even worse than Bronkie the Bronkiosaurus. I think I’ve played objectively worse games, but none of them are as antithetical to the concept of fun as this is. The caveat is that I haven’t played Bebe’s Kids, and for all I know, that game is objectively worse but does not force you to deal with first person mode seven Andy Asteroids on a cocktail of datura, ketamine, guaifenesin, crystal meth, and dextromethorphan. What I do know is that it’s actually pretty short, at least.
I've played through the first level of Batman Forever.
This doesn't really count as travelling through time.
This level has a real problem with everything blending together.
Picking up the slugs causes you to lose money.
You can get arrows or a weaponized beaver but if you get hit, and you will get hit, you lose the powerup. The manual says that the beaver can cut through certain walls but honestly, I don't even know where this would come in handy.
For fuck's sake, the flying enemies in Battletoads cast a shadow on the ground so that you could figure out where they were.
Oh. Joy.
As is befitting of this game, this is a shitty version of Pac Man. You
can’t defend yourself in any way, you can get trapped.
The dirty sock makes you go really fast but I have no idea why you’d want to do that, since turning is hard enough, fuck you very much.
Mussorgsky’s Noch’ na lysoy gore (Night on Bald Mountain) doesn’t sound half bad on an SNES sound chip. It still eliminates that really cool fanfare right before the quiet part, which was probably added by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov and then removed for the Stokowski arrangement we hear in Fantasia. And also the quiet part.
Unfortunately, this place is filled with bottomless pits and coffins that come out and go back in, causing you to plummet into said bottomless pits.
I have no idea what this game is ripping off.
The thrust button is L. L for lrrgghhhtrrrhrfkmljfgalkj. I didn’t get a bonus but whatever, this game sucks anyway.
Okay. It's there if you care about it.
I don't see how I'm possibly supposed to avoid that.
You take fall damage. This wouldn’t be so bad but there are parts of the game, like the ventilation tubes in the Haunted House, where you’re forced to take fall damage.
This password might let you skip the first level.
And this place is filled with blind jumps and enemies that blend in with the background.
I don’t know if you have to get Muddy’s health down to a certain level or what but thankfully, I did beat this level.
The manual, which I didn't have, says that the lower the percentage of "Muddy contamination," the more money enemies drop.
Only to find myself in an even more horrible time warp segment.
This word says it all.
Here’s the order, for the few people out there who might still be interested in playing this game. Green. Right testicle. Top. Bottom. Top. Top. Bottom. Bottom. Shoot through the swirl.
Congratulations, you’re halfway through the game.
And you just broke into the zoo or got captured. I don't know and the game as hell sure isn't giving you any story. And here I thought this was a game about time warping. Get the key and then climb up and slap Muddy Mudskipper. Did I mention you take fall damage and that there’s no way to climb down from ledges with the rubber nipples? That was a lie, actually, but it’s really fickle.
For reasons unknown to me, the game isn't letting me pick up the extra life. Five feels like a really low number of lives to be capped at.
The elephants shoot peanuts at you.
I don't know what this guy is.
If you're standing on the back of a hippo, he submerges into the water. If you're standing on his head, he tries to eat you.
It’s like Donkey Kong Country, except one of those shitty Famiclone ports, except I’m being unnecessarily mean to even South American famiclone ports. Ren’s three frames of animation don’t help.
In fact, I don’t even think this jump is possible. On the other hand, turning back and scaling the wall with the rubber nipples isn’t as impossible as I thought it was. I'm not sure what happens if you don't have the rubber nipples.
When flying in the canoe, land on enemies to hurt them.
This is probably the easiest and most straightforward of the levels. It bothers me that you can’t skip Happy Happy Joy Joy because I assume that if you’re listening to that song, you don’t get a game over because you didn’t do whatever thing the game expected you to do. I don’t know what happens if you don’t beat the shit out of Muddy Mudskipper every time you find him and I’m not willing to subject myself to this game any more just to find out.
Followed by the worst of the time warp segments. I bet you're wondering "how can it be any worse than the maze?" I'll fucking tell you.
For this falling segment, you have to anticipate where the opening is going to be. The background spins, you can’t see this in the screenshots and even if I knew how to record videos of this and convert them to gifs, I wouldn’t subject any of you to that. Somebody probably, through osmosis no doubt, learned about space travel being unpleasantly like being drunk and decided that it would be a good thing to put here.
Anyway, if you’d excuse me for a moment.
*BLEEAARGH*
*FLUSH*
Just watch out for falling coconuts while you're here. Did I say watch out? I mean that you aren't going to see them.
The music in this area is too good for this game. A bit anemic with the SNES sound chip, though.
This segment right here just slows the game to a crawl for no good reason. Occasionally, there are some hidden items or Muddy Mudskipper but really, there's no reason this has to be in the game. There's no challenge to this place.
The firemen yield a lot of money but there’s no way to defeat them without taking a shit ton of damage in return. At least dying doesn’t cause you to lose all your powerups.
This is the final boss of the game. There are actually three monkeys.
We have one last time warp stage to get through and then we can bid a fond adieu to to this game. Well, maybe not “fond” but definitely “adieu” because I know you’re just going to download this out of curiosity and maybe play this once to see what it’s all about, despite my repeated warnings. Elsewhere, of course. It’s not really about legality as much as it’s about permanence.
Me, I made it to the falling and shooting through bricks segment and immediately ran out of fuel, which allows you to skip the first portion at the cost of losing all the money you made doing that. Also, for whatever reason, you get three tries to make it through, no matter how many lives you have.
I know there’s a better ending, but fuck it, I don’t care. I’m not sure what the magic number is here. You get money by beating up enemies, mostly the flies that spawn from knocking down trash cans, and by playing shitty versions of arcade games.
Trust me, it’s not even close to worth the pain and frustration. Ren and Stimpy are loud and obnoxious. They discover that they can apparently buy all they need with only 90 dollars. Ren gets buff and Stimpy gets a lifetime supply of kitty litter. Joy.
Ren and Stimpy say different things depending on how much money you have, or, I dunno, maybe it’s random. Again, not even close to worth showing. I only know this because there is a longplay with the bad ending,
This was the last Ren and Stimpy game ever released and probably the worst. I’ve heard that Stimpy’s Invention for the Genesis is almost tolerable. I’ve heard that Buckaroo$ is also terrible. I might subject myself to those next year. Or I might not. I haven’t decided yet. If I play a Ren and Stimpy game, it would be Stimpy’s Invention, because it fits one of my definitions of “wonky” and the perk of “almost tolerable” makes it on par with many of the other games I play for this. If I play two Ren and Stimpy games, it’s because I’ve run out of weirdass games to play.
If I were still rating games, I'd give this a two out of ten and I only say that because "two out of ten" means that one can, theoretically, get through the entire game and "one out of ten" means that the game is so broken that you can not get through it without cheating. You know, like Ninja Turtles for MS-DOS. Or Action 52.
Seriously, though. This year’s selection was a disappointment. The Chinese pirate games were all pretty fun despite their many, many, MANY glaring flaws.
I also learned that there was a power players challenge for Ren and Stimpy Space Cadet Adventures. And someone maxed out the score with 99,999 points. And he probably grinded because I ended that game with about 7500 points. There must’ve been some kind of electrical outlet adaptor because I don’t think you can take the batteries out and replace them without turning the game boy off even if you Quick Draw McGraw it.
But, y’know, score challenges are kind of pointless unless advancement is based on points, a la Tetris. Take Mario, for instance. Get to that one level in which you can kick a Koopa and get a 1-up. Get 16500 points by kicking the koopa. Suicide. Repeat ad nauseam. Or just jump on the stair koopa in 3-1.
Burning Question: Ramon Madrigal Jr, if you’re reading this, what the hell is wrong with you?
Oh joy. I can already tell what I'm getting into.
I was thinking “it’s a beat-em-up, not a platformer. How bad can it possibly be?” I'll tell you.
I have no idea what the fuck is going on in the options menu, nor do I know any way to get out of it aside from resetting and sitting through the company logos again. And, yes, I am aware of the “exit” option but I scrolled down and resorted to mashing buttons until it would let me leave. All I know is that there is nothing on this screen even resembling options.
So let's start the game.
There’s no fucking way that you’re ever going to collect 47,000,000 receipts. It’s like Odyssey: the Legend of Nemesis and the 1,000,000,000 gold piece fee to become a citizen of McTeague. Even if you hack the save, the game can’t handle 111,111,111 pearls and a topaz.
Nay, what you need is 65. You’ll see why later. Why 65 and not 47? Because I have no idea.
I'm not sure if you're supposed to wait because if I press anything, Ren just phases into existence.
The bricks are your health.
You gain health back by knocking over garbage cans and eating the food in there. HOWEVER some of the garbage cans contain flies and some of the food causes you to take damage because stink lines or something, I don’t know.
Hitting the wrong part of the fence, and holy shit, is finding the sweet spot incredibly picky, causes the board to hit you instead.
You can move the trash cans with the grab move, useful in exactly one spot, and you can crawl, useful in exactly one level. Otherwise, they're both completely useless.
I can buy a manual from some potentially dodgy sites. I’m playing this on December 12, 2021. Best case scenario, I can wait a week. Go play something at least somewhat playable instead. Let’s see what’s on my list. Mr. Nutz, Jelly Boy, and finish playing Krusty’s Super Fun House. Probably going to beat the game before that, piecing together what information I can from a longplay and a few multiplayer attempts at the first level. Or maybe I can put it off until next year. Or I can throw five dollars in the trash.
It’s on one of those “hey there, anyone has ren and stimpy time warp manual, searched all the web couldn’t find anywhere” sites as well. The one with the asshole admin with the angry birds avatar. It’s like the successor to Wally Was His Name, except a lot simpler to set up that page for anything you want, from rare books to manuals to obscure demo tapes.
The following statements are lies: “that’s great,” “solid website,” and “entered CC and just downloaded what I needed."
I do like how he uses Ren as a bludgeon here. I wasn't expecting a good screenshot because there's only one frame of animation.
The boss of the level is a pair of dogs.
Happy Happy Joy Joy on an SNES sounds awful
And the scene is unskippable.
These guys just fall on you from nowhere.
This thing makes Ren walk around with a big dopey grin on his face, unable to collect any items or attack any enemies until he finds a hammer.
These things are everywhere in the later levels.
On December 28, 2021, I did find the manual on the Internet Archive, of course (hint: it's Ren AND Stimpy, not Ren & Stimpy) and I learned a few things about this game. Like, if you pick up the happy helmet, and you will, you can bash your head against a wall if you don't have a hammer, and you might not because you can only have one hammer at a time, but that causes you to take damage.
You can use the rubber nipples to scale walls, but to get the stuff between the walls, you're going to need to move the trash can with your grab move.
I stunlocked the first stimpygator to death but that doesn’t seem to work against the second stimpygator.
The damage box of these guys is really big.
Getting a TV from the garbage shows you this secret password. Now you can go into the options and play a minigame. You're supposed to select "fish head," if you can't tell from the image. I know I can't and I took the image.
To do this, enter the code and press start.
If you do it wrong, Ren will say "you filthy swine"
If you do it right, Stimpy will say "Joy" and you select exit and don't do anything but that or you'll undo all your hard work.
The manual says that some of the secret passcodes do things like reverse the controls. The only ones I have are the ones I found in the game and screenshotted and the ones that someone lists on Gamefaqs that give you access to all minigames.
Log Invaders is, despite the song, not better than bad at all. It’s like Space Invaders but unfun and there aren’t any shields to shoot through. You have a deflector shield of your own. It drains energy at a prodigious rate and doesn’t protect you against projectiles that hit you from the side.
Playing it sends you to the next area, where you move to the sides to make the elevator move up or down, and then attempt to grab Gritty Kitty receipts.
It really is Bart vs the Space Mutants except the purple objects are hidden better, you can’t backtrack and if you didn’t find enough, it’s game over.
This is like Asteroids. There’s a button to shoot and a button to teleport to a random spot on the screen and occasionally die but I can’t seem to find the thrust button.
Yes, I did die taking a screenshot of Powdered Toast Man.
This is the level boss. That cup of coffee or whatever turns Ren's pimp slap into the Feisty Slap of Pain. If Ren gets hit, he'll make this godawfully annoying crying sound and you lose the Feisty Slap of Pain. I'm not sure what it does for Stimpy. I can't do this game with two players. Yes, I have friends but if I made them play this, then they probably wouldn't be my friends anymore. I suggest you take that advice.
Maybe Ashley? She'd be expecting the ol' fork in the eye and then she'd be wishing for the ol' fork in the eye.
If you did everyting right, the time machine plops down in front of you.
Don't be fooled by this scene.
If you don't have enough receipts, you get a game over without any sort of hint as to how many you need.
The pizzas and kitty litter are fuel for the time machine for whatever reason. Otherwise, I'm not entirely sure what it is you're meant to do.
If you run out of fuel, this happens and you lose a life.
For the first part of this segment, you have to shoot through bricks.
Uh, phrasing.
In this phase, you have to line up your reticle with the holes and sometimes they don’t give you enough time to react. Hitting the wall of course causes you to lose fuel.
So this might be the least fun game I’ve ever played. Worse than Goofy’s Hysterical History Tour. Even worse than Bronkie the Bronkiosaurus. I think I’ve played objectively worse games, but none of them are as antithetical to the concept of fun as this is. The caveat is that I haven’t played Bebe’s Kids, and for all I know, that game is objectively worse but does not force you to deal with first person mode seven Andy Asteroids on a cocktail of datura, ketamine, guaifenesin, crystal meth, and dextromethorphan. What I do know is that it’s actually pretty short, at least.
I've played through the first level of Batman Forever.
This doesn't really count as travelling through time.
This level has a real problem with everything blending together.
Picking up the slugs causes you to lose money.
You can get arrows or a weaponized beaver but if you get hit, and you will get hit, you lose the powerup. The manual says that the beaver can cut through certain walls but honestly, I don't even know where this would come in handy.
For fuck's sake, the flying enemies in Battletoads cast a shadow on the ground so that you could figure out where they were.
Oh. Joy.
As is befitting of this game, this is a shitty version of Pac Man. You
can’t defend yourself in any way, you can get trapped.
The dirty sock makes you go really fast but I have no idea why you’d want to do that, since turning is hard enough, fuck you very much.
Mussorgsky’s Noch’ na lysoy gore (Night on Bald Mountain) doesn’t sound half bad on an SNES sound chip. It still eliminates that really cool fanfare right before the quiet part, which was probably added by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov and then removed for the Stokowski arrangement we hear in Fantasia. And also the quiet part.
Unfortunately, this place is filled with bottomless pits and coffins that come out and go back in, causing you to plummet into said bottomless pits.
I have no idea what this game is ripping off.
The thrust button is L. L for lrrgghhhtrrrhrfkmljfgalkj. I didn’t get a bonus but whatever, this game sucks anyway.
Okay. It's there if you care about it.
I don't see how I'm possibly supposed to avoid that.
You take fall damage. This wouldn’t be so bad but there are parts of the game, like the ventilation tubes in the Haunted House, where you’re forced to take fall damage.
This password might let you skip the first level.
And this place is filled with blind jumps and enemies that blend in with the background.
I don’t know if you have to get Muddy’s health down to a certain level or what but thankfully, I did beat this level.
The manual, which I didn't have, says that the lower the percentage of "Muddy contamination," the more money enemies drop.
Only to find myself in an even more horrible time warp segment.
This word says it all.
Here’s the order, for the few people out there who might still be interested in playing this game. Green. Right testicle. Top. Bottom. Top. Top. Bottom. Bottom. Shoot through the swirl.
Congratulations, you’re halfway through the game.
And you just broke into the zoo or got captured. I don't know and the game as hell sure isn't giving you any story. And here I thought this was a game about time warping. Get the key and then climb up and slap Muddy Mudskipper. Did I mention you take fall damage and that there’s no way to climb down from ledges with the rubber nipples? That was a lie, actually, but it’s really fickle.
For reasons unknown to me, the game isn't letting me pick up the extra life. Five feels like a really low number of lives to be capped at.
The elephants shoot peanuts at you.
I don't know what this guy is.
If you're standing on the back of a hippo, he submerges into the water. If you're standing on his head, he tries to eat you.
It’s like Donkey Kong Country, except one of those shitty Famiclone ports, except I’m being unnecessarily mean to even South American famiclone ports. Ren’s three frames of animation don’t help.
In fact, I don’t even think this jump is possible. On the other hand, turning back and scaling the wall with the rubber nipples isn’t as impossible as I thought it was. I'm not sure what happens if you don't have the rubber nipples.
When flying in the canoe, land on enemies to hurt them.
This is probably the easiest and most straightforward of the levels. It bothers me that you can’t skip Happy Happy Joy Joy because I assume that if you’re listening to that song, you don’t get a game over because you didn’t do whatever thing the game expected you to do. I don’t know what happens if you don’t beat the shit out of Muddy Mudskipper every time you find him and I’m not willing to subject myself to this game any more just to find out.
Followed by the worst of the time warp segments. I bet you're wondering "how can it be any worse than the maze?" I'll fucking tell you.
For this falling segment, you have to anticipate where the opening is going to be. The background spins, you can’t see this in the screenshots and even if I knew how to record videos of this and convert them to gifs, I wouldn’t subject any of you to that. Somebody probably, through osmosis no doubt, learned about space travel being unpleasantly like being drunk and decided that it would be a good thing to put here.
Anyway, if you’d excuse me for a moment.
*BLEEAARGH*
*FLUSH*
Just watch out for falling coconuts while you're here. Did I say watch out? I mean that you aren't going to see them.
The music in this area is too good for this game. A bit anemic with the SNES sound chip, though.
This segment right here just slows the game to a crawl for no good reason. Occasionally, there are some hidden items or Muddy Mudskipper but really, there's no reason this has to be in the game. There's no challenge to this place.
The firemen yield a lot of money but there’s no way to defeat them without taking a shit ton of damage in return. At least dying doesn’t cause you to lose all your powerups.
This is the final boss of the game. There are actually three monkeys.
We have one last time warp stage to get through and then we can bid a fond adieu to to this game. Well, maybe not “fond” but definitely “adieu” because I know you’re just going to download this out of curiosity and maybe play this once to see what it’s all about, despite my repeated warnings. Elsewhere, of course. It’s not really about legality as much as it’s about permanence.
Me, I made it to the falling and shooting through bricks segment and immediately ran out of fuel, which allows you to skip the first portion at the cost of losing all the money you made doing that. Also, for whatever reason, you get three tries to make it through, no matter how many lives you have.
I know there’s a better ending, but fuck it, I don’t care. I’m not sure what the magic number is here. You get money by beating up enemies, mostly the flies that spawn from knocking down trash cans, and by playing shitty versions of arcade games.
Trust me, it’s not even close to worth the pain and frustration. Ren and Stimpy are loud and obnoxious. They discover that they can apparently buy all they need with only 90 dollars. Ren gets buff and Stimpy gets a lifetime supply of kitty litter. Joy.
Ren and Stimpy say different things depending on how much money you have, or, I dunno, maybe it’s random. Again, not even close to worth showing. I only know this because there is a longplay with the bad ending,
This was the last Ren and Stimpy game ever released and probably the worst. I’ve heard that Stimpy’s Invention for the Genesis is almost tolerable. I’ve heard that Buckaroo$ is also terrible. I might subject myself to those next year. Or I might not. I haven’t decided yet. If I play a Ren and Stimpy game, it would be Stimpy’s Invention, because it fits one of my definitions of “wonky” and the perk of “almost tolerable” makes it on par with many of the other games I play for this. If I play two Ren and Stimpy games, it’s because I’ve run out of weirdass games to play.
If I were still rating games, I'd give this a two out of ten and I only say that because "two out of ten" means that one can, theoretically, get through the entire game and "one out of ten" means that the game is so broken that you can not get through it without cheating. You know, like Ninja Turtles for MS-DOS. Or Action 52.
Seriously, though. This year’s selection was a disappointment. The Chinese pirate games were all pretty fun despite their many, many, MANY glaring flaws.
I also learned that there was a power players challenge for Ren and Stimpy Space Cadet Adventures. And someone maxed out the score with 99,999 points. And he probably grinded because I ended that game with about 7500 points. There must’ve been some kind of electrical outlet adaptor because I don’t think you can take the batteries out and replace them without turning the game boy off even if you Quick Draw McGraw it.
But, y’know, score challenges are kind of pointless unless advancement is based on points, a la Tetris. Take Mario, for instance. Get to that one level in which you can kick a Koopa and get a 1-up. Get 16500 points by kicking the koopa. Suicide. Repeat ad nauseam. Or just jump on the stair koopa in 3-1.
Burning Question: Ramon Madrigal Jr, if you’re reading this, what the hell is wrong with you?
