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75 days until the vernal equinox


Or Bad Omen if you’re in Japan.
It’s a Breakout or Arkanoid clone with a couple of twists.




Sure, let’s go with that.


First is that there’s a story. It barely qualifies as an excuse plot but it's a story nonetheless. I have no idea what his name is supposed to be so I guess he’s the artist formerly known as the Prince of Darkness. The manual calls him Gamna, not to be confused with uppercase Gamma from Mega Man 3


See. Horror.


second is that you get two paddles, a defensive paddle (blue) that stays near the bottom and an offensive paddle (red) that can be moved around and rotated.


Third is that there are entire levels to get through and all the stones and blocks in your way are mere obstacles to be overcome and not a goal in themselves.


The fire from the skeletons doesn’t hurt you.


There are powerups.
yellow is a time stop for ten seconds
blue lengthens the paddle


green destroys blocks and enemies in a flash.


The level boss. His weak point is the back of his head and also his stomach.


He’ll change colors from orange


To red.


And then explodes. But wait. We’re not done with the level yet.


Put the ball in the hole to move on. It’s very generous.




the block with an x on it disables the top paddle.




Red turns the ball into a dagron that can burninate its way through the blocks without bouncing off. Saves a lot of time, especially in later levels where time is of the essence.






I have no idea what the rules are. Get the ball in the hole. Get them in or else? I don’t know.






the music’s a banger. considering it’s by Hitoshi Sakimoto.


This stage requires you to flip your front paddle vertically. Keep in mind that the ball will only bounce off of the top of the paddle.


This is Treant.


treant will puff up and then deflate and then disappear for a bit.


while the seeds grow into miniature versions that have to also be destroyed.


Now it’s a rogue tomato.




the cannons will launch the ball a pretty good distance.


Now for some regular breakout.


The statue itself will launch a bunch of red powerups from its bowl.




the blue of the ball gets lost in the blue of the background which is really annoying


The squids shoot clouds of ink. I don’t think it’s any worse.


It’s nice that the water disappears temporarily. If for technical reasons or for quality of life, I’m not sure, but I’m not one to look a gift undine in the mouth.




You only have to kill one undine


I ran out of time around here. If you do run out of time, you lose a life (the ball falling below the defensive paddle also costs a life but you start back where you were, and start at the beginning of the stage.




The biggest threat here is the sides of the walls because they don’t ricochet the ball in a way you’d expect.


You have to juggle all the balls, including the blue one.


They do blend in with the background.


If you don’t care about lives, drop all the fire balls you want.


That face is a lot like the frogs from earlier except they launch their tongues to grab the ball.




See the demon face in the rocks.


The hungry hungry hippos room you just have to be lucky in.


Tht is a lot of bonuses.


The heart is your target.


Gamma and his clones don’t want to make your job easy.


They try to confuse you by shooting projectiles that look like the ball.


You’re almost there when the heart turns neon pink.


But we’re not done yet.


Yep, that’s right, there’s one more hole to get through.








They dance around.






I don’t know what hard mode does. I looked it up and you get a bonus picture of the prince and princess with the message “thank you for your playing. Good bye.” I’m not sure what else is going on because the video’s in Russian. Also the ground looks like it’s covered in flowers or maybe CRT noise.
I think you get less time. And normal was a time crunch enough, damn it.





burning question: why the hell is the AI overview for this game talking about a giant rotten cheesecake?

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